tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83239011138738020942024-03-19T13:00:00.171-07:00The Jade RabbitThe Only Way is Forward...The Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.comBlogger79125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-8038800846134977192012-01-31T22:10:00.000-08:002012-01-31T22:10:58.036-08:00Opal Jones is dead.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
no...no i can't be.<br />
<br />
<div style="color: white;"><br />
</div><div style="color: white;">i don't want to die. </div><br />
<br />
But you are dead.<br />
<br />
<div style="color: white;"><br />
</div><div style="color: white;">so dark. can't breathe. who's writing this?</div><br />
<br />
You ran to the ends of the earth, and now you must go farther.<br />
<br />
<div style="color: white;"><br />
</div><div style="color: white;">shovel</div><br />
<br />
Do what everyone else has done, and end yourself.<br />
<br />
<div style="color: white;"><br />
</div><div style="color: white;">bast</div><br />
<br />
They say the world is round.<br />
<br />
<div style="color: white;"><br />
</div><span style="color: white;">air conditioner</span><br />
<br />
<br />
You and I know better.<br />
<br />
<div style="color: white;"><br />
</div><div style="color: white;">Nemo</div><br />
<br />
The world has an end.<br />
<br />
<div style="color: white;">Walls</div><br />
<br />
You're standing at the edge Opal Jones.<br />
<br />
<div style="color: white;">Alice</div><br />
You're in God's realm.<br />
<br />
<div style="color: white;"><br />
Anne</div><br />
<br />
You're drowning <br />
<div style="color: white;"><br />
</div><span style="color: white;">Aggy</span><br />
<br />
I<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i<br />
<br />
we?<br />
<br />
where?<br />
<br />
you and i<br />
<div style="color: white;"><br />
</div><div style="color: white;">birds</div><br />
don't wnt to die<br />
<div style="color: white;"><br />
</div><div style="color: white;">bones</div><br />
<br />
don't die<br />
<br />
<div style="color: white;"><br />
</div><div style="color: white;"><br />
</div><div style="color: white;">graves</div><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
you are<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="color: white;">HIM</div><div style="color: white;"><br />
</div><div style="color: white;">HE SEES ME</div><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i see you<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: white;">too much water hast thou </span><br />
<br />
<br />
i see<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="color: white;">poor Ophelia</div><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
im tired.<br />
<br />
<br />
who's writing this?<br />
<br />
oh, it's me.<br />
<br />
damn.The Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-19610468643745497682012-01-29T11:26:00.000-08:002012-01-29T11:26:37.250-08:00drowningthe blackness is eating up at me. i'm neck deep and it's rising.<br />
<br />
ian is dead. killed him. his eyes are open. he's still smiling. i don't think he could've stopped if he wanted to.<br />
<br />
there were three of us. that's how it started.<br />
<br />
aggy was the first. she had the book and lost it.<br />
<br />
i came second. i found it.<br />
<br />
iam came third. he read it.<br />
<br />
and the book marked us all.<br />
<br />
the book i burned. she'd hidden it in that cooler, and it needed to burn. <br />
<br />
ian was the one who found me after that christmas. his family was gone too, and he was smiling and crying.<br />
<br />
he wasn't himself, and i wasn't me. IT was there in our heads, and we were empty. we wandered in these woods. he lead and i followed.<br />
<br />
he was the butcher and i was the grave digger, and that was how it was. both of us wanted the other dead, but neither of us wanted to be alone. it was a balance.<br />
<br />
and then aggy found her book.<br />
<br />
aggy was smart, and she'd spent a good deal of her life running, and learning, and growing strong. her father had been a doctor and she was sure that she would be the one to end IT.<br />
<br />
and one day she came wandering into the forest holding the book.<br />
<br />
the book i'd found. and i attacked her, but she<br />
<br />
she<br />
<br />
she<br />
<br />
there was a syringe,<br />
<br />
there were lots of them. so many.<br />
<br />
and she said she could fix me. and she killed me. she erased me and put someone else inside. just like IT did. and for so long I was filled with nothing but air. <br />
<br />
then IT found me. and IT woke me up.<br />
<br />
and she was going to kill me...she was going to let me wake up, wait for the innocent empty person to fade.<br />
<br />
and then she would kill me. <br />
<br />
but i got there first.<br />
<br />
and ian can't kill me, because i got there first.<br />
<br />
and IT can't kill me either.<br />
<br />
nothing can kill me. <br />
<br />
<br />
nothing but water.The Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-10267340341860201302012-01-14T20:25:00.000-08:002012-01-14T20:25:18.354-08:00I'll kill him firsti can't<br />
<br />
so cold<br />
<br />
had a dream<br />
<br />
there was a pond outside my house. there were lots of fish in it and when you threw something inside they would flop around and the whole surface of the water would just turn into nothing but thrashing fish.<br />
<br />
he and i used to go throw things in it a lot. i thought it was fun.<br />
<br />
<br />
he was one of my only friends, he wasn't very happy. his home was really messed up. sometimes he said things that scared me.<br />
<br />
one day he told me he heard that if a person drowned and was saved then that person was going to die by drowning.<br />
<br />
i told him i didn't believe that and he said that we could test it, and then he shoved me into the pond<br />
<br />
all the fish started freaking out and I was underneath all of them and i couldn't tell if i was sinking or floating or where the surface was and i was flailing and then the water started to look green and then black and i couldn't breathe<br />
<br />
and then he pulled me out<br />
<br />
and he said that when i died we could see who was right and who was wrongThe Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-83126600679733855352012-01-09T15:40:00.000-08:002012-01-09T15:41:10.297-08:00I'm Losing It All<span style="font-size: small;">I get what it was you wanted now Aggy.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">You wanted me </span><span style="font-size: small;">dead, didn't you? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">You wanted me </span><span style="font-size: small;">dead so you wouldn't feel guilty. You wanted to destroy me so that you wouldn't have to look into my eyes and </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">KILL</span> a silly ignorant person. So you wouldn't have to face what you created, and rather get your revenge without consequence. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Well you got what you wanted Aggy, I'm </span><span style="font-size: small;">dying. But I got you first, so jokes on you. Ha. Ha. Ha.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Have I </span><span style="font-size: small;">died already? I don't think I'm dead</span><span style="font-size: small;"> yet. I can feel that dark thing moving around in my head, and I can feel it leaking out of me, but it hasn't gotten me yet.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I'm not going to die. I refuse to </span><span style="font-size: small;">die. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Not after everything.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Ian is here. He's watching me. I can't leave, and he won't go on his own. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I can't see him, but I know he's here. I know he and the Monster are both here. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I wish there was something alive in this forest, but it's nothing but graves and trees and snows. My three least favorite things. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Of course if there was something alive I would probably </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">KILL</span> it. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I can't eat anymore. Everything that goes down just comes up again all black and horrible. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Pathetic.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I'm so scared I disgust myself. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I'm so petrified of death I can barely breathe, but there isn't enough left to get up and run.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">There's too many memories. To many horrific things. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">So much <span style="font-size: x-large;">BLOOD</span>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">So much <span style="font-size: x-large;">BLOOD</span> on my hands.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Enough to dye the snow red.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Opal Opal Opal Opal Opal</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I am Opal.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I wish I was anything but. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"></span>The Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-73024602005633657422012-01-01T10:54:00.000-08:002012-01-01T11:14:45.326-08:00Happy New YearAlice and I are in Albany, New York at the moment. Opal isn't with us, but I expect you know that already.<div>It's been eerily peaceful for the past week or so. No run-ins with Mr. Slendy so far, but I'm probably jinxing myself as we speak.</div><div>Anyway, last night Alice and I went to a McDonald's and had french fries while we watched the ball drop on a tiny TV hanging over the restaurant's wall. It wasn't terribly exciting, but people seem to make a big deal about it, anyway.</div><div>When I was younger, my mom used to make all of us, even my dad, write 3 goals for the new year. And I we all wished that this time, contrary to previous times, that we really would finish our resolutions. But of course, after January, everyone's new year resolutions were forgotten. There were more important things to deal with, so we put them aside, and hoped to finish them next year. But that never really happened, did it?</div><div>Anyway, I would say that my new years resolution would be to stay alive, but with my unfortunate habit of not following through on my resolutions, I would be dead by tomorrow.</div><div>But it would be nice to be able to see the ball drop just one more time, however lame and boring it is. It would be nice to write out lists of goals I'll never finish just to make my mom happy. Or perhaps to see her again, just one last time. I would like that.</div>The March Harehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06133062096473946533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-55793053244940865122011-12-25T22:11:00.000-08:002011-12-25T22:22:02.521-08:00ChristmasI'm remembering. <span style="color: white;">Ding dong! merrily on high</span><br />
<br />
No, that's not right. I'm dying aren't I? <span style="color: white;">In heav'n the bells are ringing</span><br />
<br />
Or am I coming back to life? I don't know. <span style="color: white;">Ding dong! verily the sky</span><br />
<br />
I'm not with Alice and Anne anymore. I burned that stupid cooler and bolted. <span style="color: white;">Is riv'n with Angel singing.</span><br />
<br />
I promised myself that if I ever started to feel like I was slipping, I would leave. So I left. <span style="color: white;">Gloria</span><br />
<br />
It's so cold. I've been digging up graves, looking for the right one. I couldn't find it. <span style="color: white;">Hosanna in excelsis!</span><br />
<br />
But now it makes sense, it was never really there to begin with. <span style="color: white;">Pray you, dutifully prime</span><br />
<br />
I remember it now. <span style="color: white;">Your matin chime, ye ringers;</span><br />
<br />
It was Christmas Eve, and I couldn't sleep. My...mother? I think, she kept saying that if I didn't go to sleep then Santa wouldn't come, but I was scared. I didn't want to go to sleep. <span style="color: white;">May you beautifully rime</span><br />
I'd seen Him a handful of times before that day, and I was always scared to go to sleep. But that night was the worst. It was like the house was screaming, and every bone in my body was telling me to run and run and run and to keep running as fast as could, to the very ends of the earth. <span style="color: white;">Your evetime song, ye singers.</span><br />
<br />
But everyone said that monsters weren't real and that I needed to sleep, and even though I was terrified, I was so tired. And my mother kept telling me that nothing could hurt me, and nothing was coming to get me, and that when I woke up it would be Christmas and everything would be bright and happy. I trusted her, and put my faith in what I wanted to be true. <span style="color: white;">Gloria</span><br />
<br />
I fell asleep, and when I woke up I was alone, and it was snowing, and the house was a black skeleton of a house. Everything had gone to ashes, and He was there. <span style="color: white;">Hosanna in excelsis!</span><br />
<br />
There's still a foundation. There's still snow on the ground. It's still Christmas. I'm still all alone. <span style="color: white;">Gloria</span><br />
<br />
There are graves all over. I've got some more digging to do. <span style="color: white;">Hosanna in excelsis!</span><br />
<br />
<br />
Merry Christmas,<br />
<br />
- OpalThe Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-61521119243326609642011-12-12T09:42:00.000-08:002011-12-12T09:42:20.931-08:00Ha ha ha!Aggy your such a liar.<br />
<br />
THAT'S ALL THIS IS. IT'S NOTHING BUT LIES LIES LIES.<br />
<br />
What you're saying is completely impossible! It isn't true! That's all there is to it.<br />
<br />
I bet if you were alive right now, you'd be standing here laughing at me, because this is all just a big joke. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!<br />
<br />
I get the joke! I'm laughing too, see? <br />
<br />
You were mental when you died, that's all this is! It's just you and your crazy notes.<br />
<br />
Oh god my head, why does it hurt so much?<br />
<br />
Oh god. Oh god.<br />
<br />
Aggy where the hell did you go? Please tell me it isn't true! It's not is it? <br />
<br />
Oh god Aggy please. <br />
<br />
Why would you do this to me? Why would you betray me like this?<br />
<br />
no that's not right, you never really were on my side at all were you?<br />
<br />
you were scared of me.<br />
<br />
i'm scared of me.<br />
<br />
itdoesn'tmatteritdoesn'tmatteritdoesn'tmatteritdoesn'tmatteritdoesn'tmatter<br />
<br />
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!<br />
<br />
stop remembering, stop remembering!<br />
<br />
I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal!<br />
<br />
I'm Opal Jones! I'm not anyone else! I've never been anyone else!<br />
<br />
Why is it hurting? i don't know why it hurts! i'm so angry and i hate you Aggy. i hate everything i want it to burn, and i don't know why.<br />
<br />
too many feelings.<br />
<br />
don't remember, don't remember, don't remember.<br />
<br />
something has been eating me up inside, rotting away at me, like termites.<br />
and there's something dark and horrible sitting in my stomach and i can feel it consuming me.<br />
<br />
can't lose it now, can't lose it now.<br />
<br />
Oh god, what have I done?<br />
<br />
don't anyone come looking for me.<br />
<div style="color: white;"><br />
</div><span style="color: white;">I have to find the place where the earth breaks off and drops into nothingness. I have to fall off the edge into the abyss.</span>The Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-76537097569095096582011-12-07T19:47:00.000-08:002011-12-07T19:47:59.144-08:00SmashI'm sitting in a hospital right now. <br />
<br />
I can't stand how stupid I can be sometimes. <br />
<br />
<br />
As you most likely guessed I finally figured out the message Aggy left me, and looking back it seems really obvious now.<br />
<br />
The exact message said, "If you want to win the game you have to strategize," and then the numbers were (66 8 13) (27 3 14) (234 8 20/21.)<br />
<br />
At first I thought they were combinations to locks, and I went back to her apartment to see if I could find a safe or anything. After I tore her apartment apart and didn't find anything, I tried a lot of math stuff with the numbers, and for a while I though they were talking about her blood type theory on proxies or that I was translating a code within a code. Each combination had a multiple of three a multiple of two and a prime number with the exception of the last combination, so I thought maybe I was working with a combination of 1's, 2's and 3's or possible A's, B's and C's . I ran it through a few other types of codes I found on the internet and none of them worked, and I was beginning to feel like Aggy had just been typing more messed up dates.<br />
<br />
But then the other day I remembered something about how sometimes people use numbers that refer to words in books, and it didn't take me to long to figure out she had used Ender's Game, since she knew I had a copy and that I'd been reading it, (although I'd almost forgot about it until now,)<br />
<br />
So the first number is the page number, the second being the paragraph number, and the third being the number of the word in the paragraph, the message translated to this;<br />
<br />
Look By The Lake<br />
<br />
There was only one lake I could think of that she would've visited long enough to hide anything. The last time she and I had a real conversation.<br />
<br />
So that was it. We packed up and headed out. <br />
<br />
We made it to Arizona about a week ago, and started looking. We checked a lot of the lake on the first day, (namely the parts that weren't in the woods) but didn't find anything.<br />
<br />
Anne and I did a little brainstorming and decided that there was a good chance that if Aggy had hidden anything it would probably have been by the place where I woke up after she disappeared. That would involve going pretty deep into the forest, which wasn't very comforting at the time.<br />
<br />
I was also getting a little paranoid I guess. Afraid that this little treasure hunt was going to end badly. <br />
<br />
Despite all the hemming and hawing from me, we wound up going in together so no one would be left by themselves. It took a while to find the place, just because we were going on my memory, but after a couple of hours of searching, we found a tree with a red operator symbol spray painted on it, and an arrow pointing down at the ground.<br />
<br />
Anne and I (mostly Anne) started digging and poking around the tree trying to see if she had buried anything there, while Alice kept watch. <br />
<br />
It took maybe ten minutes until we heard a little clunk, and then another forty five for the time it took for us to dig it up. We found a cooler. <br />
Inside were lots of tapes and books and pieces of paper with Aggy's handwriting all over them.<br />
<br />
And that was about as far as our good luck went. Because right then was when Luca started barking and growling.<br />
<br />
"So you found it, then?"<br />
<br />
He always sneaks up on me doesn't he? Even when I'm expecting him.<br />
<br />
Elmer Fudd was leaning against a tree, watching us with that smug look of his. The stupid bastard was probably hiding there the whole time, waiting for us. <br />
<br />
Needless to say we didn't stay very long for conversation. It was kind of funny, the three of us running with that bulky cooler, while the dog attacked that freak's leg.<br />
<br />
<br />
It didn't take him long to kick the dog off and go after us, or maybe it just seemed like it went by really fast. Time was moving weird, and I'm not sure if that was natural or not. The tree's starting blending together, and we were moving like slugs.<br />
<br />
And then we saw Him.<br />
<br />
That makes three times Kittykins and I have met. <br />
<br />
I don't remember a lot of what happened. I do remember the headache I was feeling. It was like someone was flashing a strobe light in my eyes while simultaneously trying to jack hammer their way into my skull.<br />
<br />
Long story short, when I woke up I was in the car with Anne and the cooler.<br />
<br />
Alice wasn't there.<br />
<br />
I honestly thought we'd lost her for good. But Anne drove around the park and we found her. She was off a back road, lying out next to some old dirt road. I'm guessing she must have been there for an hour or so. She was barely awake, and there was a rip in her side. We got her in the car and tried to patch her up, but that didn't go so well.<br />
<br />
After a very long argument with Anne we wound up taking her to the hospital. That's where we are now.<br />
<br />
So long as she's okay I guess that's all that matters. <br />
<br />
She's asleep and has been for about a day or two. The people at the hospital have been nice enough so far, and have not asked very many questions. I feel bad since I know that were mostly going to be sneaking out with so much as paying the tab. Maybe I'll write a very heartfelt thank you letter. Of course it would probably curse them all.<br />
<br />
I feel like I'm leaving destruction in my wake, or maybe everyone and everything I know now is actually so fragile that it really does shatter every other moment or two.<br />
<br />
That's a sad thought.<br />
<br />
I tried reading some of the stuff in the cooler, but then stopped. I'm not ready to read what's in there. <br />
<br />
I don't think I'm ever going to be. <span style="color: white;">It can't be true!</span> <span style="color: white;">IT ISN'T IT ISN'T IT ISN'T!!!</span><br />
<br />
This is all my fault.<br />
<br />
I don't think I'm meant to hold things together, despite how much I'd like to. It's just that everywhere I turn I feel like I'm the wrecking ball that's shattering everything. <br />
<br />
Shattering things like mirrors.<br />
<br />
<br />
At least I know I've got a long life ahead of me, what with all the years of bad luck I'm getting.<br />
<br />
- OpalThe Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-21706202664627825442011-11-28T19:42:00.000-08:002011-11-28T19:46:03.439-08:00Happy Make Your Own Head DayWell I was going to start up by saying the whole world has gone to hell 'again,' but I'm starting to fear if I keep saying that it will lose meaning.<br />
<br />
It's time I start dealing with some stuff that's been going on recently.<br />
<br />
Let's start at the beginning.<br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://obscuredcamera.blogspot.com/2011/11/deliveries.html">Michael</a></b> is dead. <br />
<br />
Or so I believe. If he is, it means he got what he wanted, and he ended it all himself. Me and him had a last heart to heart, the night before his blog locked down. He gave me his notebooks and a note, and we said are goodbyes.<br />
<br />
Didn't want him to die. Not that I didn't see it coming, oh no. He was counting down the amount of time he had left, and for the last month or so I've been borderline begging him to try and fight and make it. <br />
<br />
There was also and accident at <b><a href="http://takethemyth.blogspot.com/2011/11/where-do-i-begin.html">Hope</a></b>, which I now believe is no longer up and running. Some people were killed. One person in particular was rather sad to find about, although I'm not going to talk about it here. That would be counterproductive. <br />
<br />
Now I just don't feel very much at all on the matter. I haven't been doing a lot of feeling for the last couple of days. Although there was that unbearable thanksgiving dinner Anne tried to cook. I let her tell you about that when she gets the time. I swear one of the best dinners I've ever had, even with the food. Made me want to cry afterwards.<br />
<br />
Other than that I've just been sort of...out of it, I guess. I'm trying not to be mopey, and have been working pretty hard on getting Aggy's stuff taken care of, and trying to figure out her text message. <br />
<br />
<br />
So far I've got zilch, so I don't know what she was hoping I would do with it.<br />
<br />
<br />
I feel like a toy. Somebodies pawn in a really horrific game of chess, and I don't know whose side I'm playing on anymore, or even which side is which.<br />
<br />
It doesn't matter though, you just have to keep playing the game and trying to win even though you don't care anymore.<br />
<br />
Makes you want to set the chessboard on fire, but then what other sad pawns are you killing?<br />
<br />
I don't know anymore.<br />
<br />
I think Aggy did. I think she might've even been good at this game. She definitely seems to keep hinting that she knows a lot about it. All this talk about winning and being strategical sounds just like her. She really liked games like that, and she used to beat me all the time too. I'm really no good at thi<br />
<br />
Hold on.<br />
<br />
<br />
Change of plans. We're packing up right now, and heading for Arizona.<br />
I'll update when we get there. :)<br />
<br />
- OpalThe Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-51581347370545497832011-11-25T00:19:00.000-08:002011-11-25T08:39:04.634-08:00What Am I Thankful For?I'm thankful I'm alive, and that Anne and Alice are alive, and that somehow the world manages to keep turning on its axis even with all of the horror and atrocities that take place inside it. <br />
<br />
This week has been a death week, maybe the second worst week of my life, and yet I look outside and I see people raking leaves and father's coming home and kissing their children, and people sitting down to eat and feeling thankful for what they have.<br />
<br />
The world is sad and beautiful, and every time I acknowledge that fact it makes me want to cry.<br />
<br />
We had an interesting thanksgiving dinner tonight, and for some reason I want to laugh and feel happy. How can I? How can I, without feeling like a monster for being happy?<br />
<br />
These problems never used to confuse me.<br />
<br />
In any case, if anyone out there is reading this, look out your window, and look at life, and smile at a regular person. Please. It hurts. It's wonderful to watch life. Life is gorgeous and amazing and horrible and tragic, but to live life is a gift. Be thankful for that gift, before it is taken away, and be thankful for the knowledge that life will continue to exist, even if you don't. <br />
<br />
We should leave Kansas soon. It's high time we started moving again.The Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-62149788625422603062011-11-17T19:50:00.000-08:002011-11-17T19:50:46.599-08:00StoneToday was a terrible day, tomorrow will be better.<br />
<br />
How many times am I going to repeat that to myself?<br />
<br />
Is it ever going to get better?<br />
<br />
I feel old.The Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-32433979698872876932011-11-14T15:54:00.000-08:002011-11-14T15:54:32.390-08:00Hello Blog, I almost forgot about you.Here I am in Kansas. Yay!<br />
<br />
You know what they say right? No place like home.<br />
<br />
Although to be fair we're staying at Anne's house. She was very pleased to see that the whole place didn't go up in flames like mine did. (Though I don't know how long that's going to last if she keeps trying to cook, honestly Anne stay away from the kitchen,)<br />
<br />
When she made it back to the house she practically crushed me she was so happy to see me. It was a weird feeling. I think she's ignoring the events that took place after I left, which doesn't make much sense to me. Maybe she just doesn't feel like she has it in her to deal with it yet.<br />
<br />
She and I haven't talked too much since she got back. She's been sleeping through most of the day, and late at night I can hear her shuffling around doing stuff, like she's suddenly become nocturnal. I haven't pried on it too much because we've all been getting pretty strange hours of sleep over here, but it's almost like she's just reversed her sleep schedule completely. She may just be scared of trying to sleep in the dark, which given the circumstances I don't blame her for.<br />
<br />
Alice is getting pretty good with a shovel, although she's been diving under the couch whenever anyone opens the door so we might need to work on how to react in an emergency situation (because I am so good at that aren't I?)<br />
<br />
And there is also another addition to the family now it seems. You guys remember Luca right? (I don't blame you if you don't because I barely remembered who he was until he was on top of me licking my face off.) He's Anne's rottweiler. He'd been staying with some neighbors after Anne and I set out for Vegas. After she got back she went and picked him up, and now he's underneath the table drooling on my feet.<br />
<br />
I'm a little worried, seeing as how before all of this started I 'had' a cat. However Luca's a bit more burly than she was, and if by chance there's anything lurking outside, he should be able to bark loud enough to alert half the neighborhood.<br />
<br />
And as for me.<br />
<br />
Guess it's high time I stopped keeping this little secret. <br />
<br />
I got a message from Aggy.<br />
<br />
Found it a little while after I started staying at the library. <br />
<br />
It was on my cellphone, and from what I can tell she left it right after she died. Like hours before.<br />
<br />
You know, I always feel weird watching old black and white silent footage, just because I know everyone I'm watching has died a long time ago. In my opinion it's the closest you can really get to watching ghosts.<br />
<br />
Seeing a text from Aggy on my phone wasn't much different. It felt like she was watching me while I read it, waiting for me to send a reply. <br />
<br />
The message didn't have a lot on it, all it said was this. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><i>Opal,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>If you want to win the game, you have to strategize,</i></div><br />
After that there was a series of numbers, (which I'm going to keep to myself, lest someone be reading this blog who isn't looking out for my better interest,) and then this,<br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><i> Beware the Water,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Stop Burning Books.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Don't Forget. </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>-Aggy </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><br />
The reason I came back was to look through Aggy's apartment again for anything I missed the first time. I've been going through it, but the place was a lot neater the second time I visited, which I think means that Aggy beat me to it and straightened up before anyone could find anything. <br />
<br />
This is a good sign though, because it means there was definitely something she didn't want anyone else to find. Maybe it was some more research she'd kept hidden, or a clue of some kind.<br />
<br />
I'm beginning to think there's a whole other level to her death, and I need to figure out what her message means.<br />
<br />
That's really all I have to report on for now.<br />
<br />
If anything happens I'll let you guys know,<br />
<br />
- OpalThe Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-82400529414371387582011-11-03T19:11:00.000-07:002011-11-03T19:11:37.421-07:00Winter Is StupidI'm sure the woodland creatures of Narnia would vouch for me on this one. <br />
<br />
Winter is cold, wet, annoying and it lasts much longer than it should. But here we are, just a few weeks away from the end of autumn, (which sucks because autumn is the best season of them all.)<br />
<br />
It probably wouldn't be so bad if the heat in the car was working, but looking back on all my <i>"A/C" </i>problems before this, I can't say I'm surprised. But that's okay, because I have sweaters and we're bundled up tight.<br />
<br />
Yes that was a "We're,"<br />
<br />
I'll get to that in a second. <br />
<br />
<br />
I left Hope, which believe it or not feels like a giant weight off my shoulders. Not that the solitary confinement wasn't fun, I guess I just feel happy to be moving again.<br />
<br />
Actually, that's the really weird thing. I haven't been feeling too miserable at all these past couple of days. I think I'm starting to get my drive back, which is awesome. It feels incredible to be able to know what I should be doing, because I don't think I've really known since way back in August.<br />
<br />
I also seemed to have picked up a hitchhiker. <br />
<br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://openstory632.blogspot.com/">Alice</a></b>, (you remember, the girl who pulled me out of a well?) decided she wanted to join me, (heaven knows why) so she's here along for the ride.<br />
<br />
According to her, she's here to make sure I stay safe because I managed to end up half-dead in a well, even before I broke my arm, so it's best if I have help. <br />
<br />
<br />
To be completely honest, it might be better is she's here with me anyway. Hope's been seeming, I don't know...I guess I was a little worried about her trying to manage there on her own, especially with all the stuff that's been happening.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Of course I'm not sure how I'm going to manage to take care of her any better than the people there could. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I going to try and teach her how to take care of herself, and so far she seems much more promising than I did starting out, (and not just because she's about twice my size.) She'll probably be a lot better with a shovel if it comes to that again. Might as well help her equip herself. <br />
<br />
It'll probably take a good four or five days to get back to Kansas at the rate we're going. Driving with one arm wears you out. Might be able to pick up the pace a little bit, we'll see.<br />
<br />
I feel like I'm starting to get it together, so we'll see how long that lasts.<br />
<br />
I'll keep you guys posted,<br />
<br />
- OpalThe Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-34513688801128313692011-11-01T16:15:00.000-07:002011-11-01T16:15:01.076-07:00I'm Starting To Think I Think Too Much...I'm leaving here soon. Just need the OK from Elaine, and I'm hitting the road.<br />
<br />
I need to head back to Kansas. I'm starting to feel like there was a lot more to Aggy's death than I originally anticipated. I've already called Anne, we're going to meet up there.<br />
<br />
It'll be strange seeing her. She sounded happy to hear from me on the phone, although that could've just been fear I was picking up on. <br />
<br />
I hope she isn't scared of me. <br />
<br />
On a less depressing note, I've been doing a little psyche searching and I've managed to come up with a few memories. They all seem like things from early on in my life, I was probably just a kid when they happened. They are all pretty odd.<br />
<br />
I remember a curtain. It was checkered and light blue, and whenever I picture it, it's always against a bright blue sky, with white clouds floating lazily by. <br />
<br />
Like I said, it's an odd memory to have, but it's there. I'm assuming it must have been mine or my families, maybe I used to love looking out windows back then. I still like to now, so the chances are good. <br />
<br />
The Australian Picture book, I still don't remember the contents exactly, or the nightmares it gave me. But I remember a general unpleasantness yet at the same time attractiveness about it. I think this is probably the most detailed memory I have.<br />
<br />
There's a list of rules in there too. Things I wasn't allowed to do. "Don't wipe your mouth on your sleeve, no cats in the house, keep things tidy,"<br />
There's never a voice that gives the rules, or any particular time I can remember following or not following them, but the rules themselves remain. That's funny, because I guess rules are something that really implant themselves in a kid's mind.<br />
<br />
There's a few other odd things here and there, sounds and feelings that don't make sense. <br />
<br />
The only memory I have that's a real memory, is more like a quick image of a moment. I can hold on to it for just a fraction of place and time, but I can't see what happens before or after.<br />
<br />
I'm lying on my side in the grass, and there are small wildflowers blowing around me. Everything's really out of focus, and it feels like I'm remembering it underwater or something. The feelings that I have with it feel peaceful and pensive, and the memory itself is familiar, like it isn't just one moment but hundreds all smashed together into a single image.<br />
<br />
These memories are starting to scare me, and I'm not sure how much I want to remember.<br />
<br />
I know that remembering is the right thing to do if I want to find some kind of clarity with my life, but I'm worried about what there is to learn. I'm worried about what Aggy knew that I didn't.<br />
<br />
I really need to get out of my own head. It's not a fun place to be stuck in.<br />
<br />
- OpalThe Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-83225791661146838682011-10-28T08:03:00.000-07:002011-10-28T18:25:51.428-07:00Of Captain NemoWell, things have gone to hell again. Though to be honest I wasn't really sure if we'd ever gone back, but yeah, there's been some more drama to add to the pile.<br />
<br />
Two days ago <b><a href="http://obscuredcamera.blogspot.com/2011/10/what-you-leave-behind.html">Michael</a> </b>revealed something rather shocking. <br />
<br />
And now I think it's time I talk about something that happened a few weeks ago that I never mentioned. But now that all this has happened, I think it might help in explaining some things.<br />
<br />
Michael has been splitting for a while now. Back when he got me away from the house, and we were driving towards the state border; I think that's when I realized how bad it was. <br />
<br />
In hindsight, I'm starting to understand what that week must have been like for him. After what happened to <b><a href="http://obscuredcamera.blogspot.com/2011/09/obituary_22.html">Jessica</a></b>, watching my episode and seeing Spencer have a shindig with my head must have been like watching the events replay themselves. <br />
<br />
The day after Aggy died (or it was the same day wasn't it,) I woke up in the back of his car and we were on our way to New York. You know that much, right?<br />
<br />
<br />
So there I was tied up in the back of Nemo's van, and I was sort of numb at that time, that is, I was trying very hard to not focus on what had happened the night before.<br />
<br />
Now I am a classical music fan. However waking up to find it blasting so loud you're afraid your ears are going to fall off is not a pleasant experience. That was the first odd thing.<br />
<br />
I asked him to turn it down some and he complied, but for the whole drive he kept turning it up little by little.<br />
<br />
The other weird thing was that he seemed completely chipper the whole ride.<br />
<br />
And whenever he spoke, instead of saying I or me, he said Us.<br />
<br />
So I pestered and asked him what was going on, and why he was acting weird, and I found out.<br />
<br />
I don't know for sure but Michael has got some kind of Multiple Personality thing going on inside his head.<br />
<br />
Michael has already used the <b><a href="http://scribesigma.blogspot.com/2011/07/cw002-path-of-black-leaves.html">path</a></b>. According to him, it split his mind into a bunch of tiny pieces and they were trying too put themselves back together.<br />
<br />
Apparently I was speaking to a part of Michael named No One. Someone who seemed more Proxy than runner.<br />
<br />
I think this was the mindset Michael was in when he started <b><a href="http://obscuredcamera.blogspot.com/2011/10/5.html">damning people</a></b> on his blog.<br />
<br />
To save time now, I'm going to skip a lot of the details and just tell you that I really, really disliked him. He didn't have a lot of happy things to say, despite how bubbly he sounded. <br />
<br />
I told him I wanted to talk to Nemo, and after a bit of convincing he obliged, and switched personalities.<br />
<br />
Nemo of course didn't remember one thing about the whole ride. I tried to explain to him what was going on but he ignored me and said it was something he "didn't need to hear."<br />
<br />
After that he left, and I was really worried. <br />
<br />
Then he came to Hope and he posted <b><a href="http://obscuredcamera.blogspot.com/2011/10/well-this-is-disturbing.html">this, </a></b>and I thought for one shining moment that maybe he was going to be alright. That Hope had somehow fixed him in a way that I couldn't.<br />
<br />
Then he posted <b><a href="http://obscuredcamera.blogspot.com/2011/10/something-witty.html">this</a></b>, and I started to wonder.<br />
<br />
And then two nights ago I realized how bad it was, and how wrong I had been.<br />
<br />
One of the funny things about Hope is that there is a whole floor for dangerous/unstable persons to be locked up in so they won't go crazy hurt the other residents. This is where I have been staying for the last couple of days, along with Alice.<br />
<br />
So other than my room and the bathroom I haven't seen Hope. I don't even know where it is exactly since I was blindfolded on the way in.<br />
<br />
But so far my only visitors had been Elaine and Michael, (and a guy named <b><a href="http://riskdeath.blogspot.com/">Shaun</a></b> I suppose but we haven't talked a whole lot.)<br />
<br />
Basically the rules are that so long as I stay in my room and don't got bonkers I'm allowed to stay, (I'm trying to work out a loophole for Alice but it isn't looking good.)<br />
<br />
But so anyway, Michael came to visit me with some dinner that night.<br />
<br />
Before that he'd already been acting weird, talking about there being a camera in my brain or some crap like that, so I was already unnerved. We came down and chatted for a bit and then...<br />
<br />
I guess the correct way to word this was that he started to torment me. At first I thought that it was because he was trying to get me to open up or face some of the stuff that's been dragging me down lately. But he seemed so cheerful, he actually was enjoying himself.<br />
<br />
And then he told me.<br />
<br />
He wasn't Michael, he wasn't Nemo, he wasn't even No One.<br />
<br />
He was a proxy.<br />
<br />
He made a few threats, said he was going to leave.<br />
<br />
I told him that I'd cause a riot, get the whole place's attention.<br />
<br />
Torment, torment, torment,<br />
<br />
He tried to attack me, and that somehow ended in him getting hit in the face with a lamp. <br />
<br />
I tried to get out of the room, and lock him in. <br />
<br />
I got the door open, but Elaine was standing there.<br />
<br />
And he started shouting for help. And it sounded like him. And he sounded scared.<br />
<br />
Elaine and him combined were enough to shove me back into the room. I could hear them talking on the other side of the door. <br />
<br />
"What happened?"<br />
<br />
"She tried to brain me with a lamp?"<br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
<i>That isn't him.</i><br />
<br />
"Did you say anything?"<br />
<br />
"I think she's finally flipped,"<br />
<br />
<i>That isn't him.</i><br />
<br />
From the tiny windows in my room, I think I could see the lights of a car driving away a few hours later. Michael left.<br />
<br />
And yesterday he seemed to spiral down even further when he woke up and realized all of what had happened.<br />
<br />
I owe Michael a lot. I owe him for getting me away from the House, I owe him for sticking by me for most of this, and I owe him for being my friend.<br />
<br />
And even though I am so furious with him, I'm scared for him.<br />
<br />
I don't want him to go. <br />
<br />
When he reads this, (and I know you are) I hope he realizes that you can care very much for a person, and still be angry with them at the same time.<br />
<br />
I hope that he doesn't give up.<br />
<br />
Because giving up is a horrible thing to do.<br />
<br />
I realize that now.<br />
<br />
- OpalThe Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-32894504321556150752011-10-25T12:18:00.000-07:002011-10-25T12:19:37.186-07:00What Happened To Living In A Cave?I've killed another person.<br />
<br />
<div style="color: white;"><span style="color: black;">Granted this time I had a reason, one that I think most people would consider a good reason to kill a person.</span> murderer, murderer, murderer, murderer, murderer, murderer, murderer, murderer, murderer, murderer, murderer. </div>The family who rescued me from the well. Their daughter, Alice, was infected. <span style="color: white;">Coincidence, Or..?</span><br />
<br />
She told me that she'd only been living with the family for a short time; that her real parents had died when she was younger and that she'd been living as a foster child.<br />
<br />
She told me she had nightmares about Him, not really understanding who He was or what that meant.<br />
<br />
I didn't know what to do. <br />
<br />
On the one hand I could've left and tried to deal with my own multiplying problems, or on the other hand I could've tried to help her and her family by calmly explaining the situation and enjoy a trip to an insane asylum. <span style="color: white;">where who knows who else would die</span><br />
<br />
I never really got to make that decision.<br />
<br />
It was late afternoon if I remember right (don't count on that).<br />
<br />
I'd been sort of half asleep, but I remember hearing a baby crying. This family has a small baby. I had watched him a few times while the mother went out, (baby sitting is weird,) so I recognized his cry pretty quickly.<br />
<br />
I peaked out into the hall. There was a body lying on the floor. another one.<br />
<br />
It was the father. His eyes were open. <span style="color: white;">Why are they always staring?</span><br />
<br />
I ran out to the garage as quickly as I could. Sure enough, there was a small shovel propped up against the wall.<br />
<br />
Ran back in, practically smashed my way into the nursery.<br />
<br />
There was the mother, bleeding out on the floor. <span style="color: white;">Close your eyes, you aren't alive anymore.</span><br />
<br />
Alice was pressed up against the back wall crouched over the baby. <span style="color: white;">Why is wailing such a familiar noise?</span><br />
<br />
There was a guy in a black mask standing there with a knife. At first I thought it was someone else.<br />
<br />
I swung the shovel at him just as he turned to see who had come in.<br />
<br />
Not a great swing seeing as how I was doing one handed, but it knocked him down all the same.<br />
<br />
Told Alice to get out of the house. She was terrified, but she listened.<br />
<br />
The proxy gave me a look from his place on the floor. "What the hell?"<br />
<br />
I jammed the shovel into his side, and he winced. He grabbed the shovel and gave me an angry look, but then he stopped.<br />
<br />
There was a tense pause where we just stared at each other.<br />
<br />
He said something awful. Don't even think I can type it here. <span style="color: white;">Dreamers Lie </span><br />
<br />
<br />
I think I heard myself snap, suddenly I was slamming the shovel down on top of him as hard as I could.<br />
<br />
He was terrified. <span style="color: white;">Like he'd seen a ghost.</span><br />
<br />
Blow after blow after blow.<br />
<br />
I heard a crunching noise in the background somewhere, and I was barely aware of the fact my arm (which was just broken before this) was shattering into pieces.<br />
<br />
It didn't take long for him to die. <span style="color: white;">But what was it he said to you?</span><br />
<br />
So did I kill a monster? Or am I the monster now? <span style="color: white;">you aren't just human anymore</span><br />
<br />
I left the shovel and ran at back, got the kids in the car, and drove. I think I was the only one who noticed that He was standing outside the house watching us.<br />
<br />
If it hadn't been for the kids there I would've...I don't know what I would've done.<br />
<br />
Something stupid probably.<br />
<br />
There was only one place I could think to bring an infected Kid and a baby (who may or may not be infected now) that wouldn't end in the death of more innocent (or is it ignorant?) people.<br />
<br />
I took them to<b> <a href="http://takethemyth.blogspot.com/2011/10/hope-spot.html">Hope.</a></b> It's safe so that's good for them.<br />
<br />
I'm a bit of an unwelcome guest I suppose, so I should leave soon. <br />
<br />
No more getting involved after this. Can't keep doing this.<br />
<br />
- Opal <span style="color: white;">I don't even want to know anymore. I'm too afraid to remember. </span>The Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-43664436392392801192011-10-21T12:25:00.000-07:002011-10-21T15:57:46.460-07:00Screw VirginiaVirginia sucks. I'm going to Alabama.<div>Well you see, I was at a gas station. It was around 11:30 at night, so you can imagine it was pretty dark outside. I was just about to pay for my sandwich when the cashier started staring off in the distance. He asked me if I recognized that gray car in the lot. I told him I didn't. He said that the car has been passing the gas station for the past hour.</div><div>Now, I have been quite used to strange things lately, and I saw this as a warning sign. Just as I told the man to leave, there was a crash. The door swung violently and hit a metal shelf full of snacks that fell to the floor. And then I saw the guy in the gray mask from earlier. Surely he was the one with the car.</div><div>The first thing he did was go for the cashier. I suppose he didn't want him to call the police, or maybe he wanted to scare me, because the next thing I knew the cashier had several stab wounds in his stomach. By then I was at the end of the store, trying to open a nearby window to escape. But he grabbed me and pulled me back.</div><div>Next thing I knew, I was lying on the floor in the middle of the cereal aisle (and let me tell you, waking up to the Lucky Charms mascot is not fun) with a lump on my head. He only came to scare me.</div><div>Once I became aware of what happened, I used the store's phone to call the police. I assumed the cashier was dead, but I felt sick with the thought of having to check.</div><div>And this is the part I am not proud of.</div><div>Right after I called the police, I open the cash register and took out all of the money. I feel really bad about it, but I'm starting to run out, and no money means no gas, which means I'm a sitting duck.</div><div>So here I am, on my way to Alabama. By the way, I apologize for not writing anything in a while. Until last night, nothing really happened to me. It was probably the most peaceful few days I've had since this trip started.</div><div>And now a message to Opal:</div><div>Take care of yourself. It is not your fault that people get hurt, it is his fault. You cannot go around with an uncared-for broken arm, or you're going to get even more hurt. Please don't blame yourself.</div><div>-Anne</div>The March Harehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06133062096473946533noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-41472609716820327102011-10-20T13:35:00.000-07:002011-11-01T11:07:25.036-07:00Black and BlueI just knew that if I started to feel even the slightest bit more comfortable I was going to regret it.<br />
<br />
Can you blame me though? Lately it seems that a lot of bloggers have hit a kind of plateau and have been doing a bit better. All this positive energy that's been going around definitely eased my nerves a little bit. Or maybe my lack of activity was just too boring.<br />
<br />
Whatever the reason, the other night Ian payed me a visit.<br />
<br />
It was relatively late, and while the library was still open it was empty except for me and one or two people at the front desk. I was sitting alone in the far corner of one section, not paying great attention to my surroundings, but I remember hearing footsteps. At first I thought it was another student who was up late as well, so I didn't look up. It wasn't until I felt someone right behind me that I spun around.<br />
<br />
And there he was, grin and all. However he didn't look quite as smug as he did the last time I saw him. Aggy had knocked a few of his teeth out with the bat, and there was a nasty gash under his left eye.<br />
<br />
"Hello darling, how was the vacation?" <br />
<br />
<br />
It took all of a second for me to knock my chair in his direction and run towards the front door. Considering I was several flights of stairs away from the exit I'm impressed I made it as far as I did. I guess it really is true that you run faster when you're being fueled by adrenaline. But in case you haven't already guessed from the tone of this post I didn't manage to make it outside.<br />
<br />
It wasn't because I didn't reach the door in time, oh no, I made it there fine. There was something waiting for me there when I got there.<br />
<br />
Three bodies were lying in front of the door. They had all been on the staff at the library, I'd even made small talk with one of them after she'd helped me to find a book.<br />
<br />
And here I thought I'd managed to harden myself to this kind of thing.<br />
<br />
No. No. I don't want to become desensitized to death. But at the same time, I can't let it affect me so much. I couldn't move.<br />
<br />
I skidded to a halt and fell backwards, I couldn't stop looking at it. All because of me.<br />
<br />
How much blood is on my hands now?<br />
<br />
<br />
I barely noticed when he came up behind me and lifted me to my feet by my shoulders. <br />
<br />
"I swear," he sighed. I was vaguely aware that his hand was stroking my head. "You make this too easy sometimes,"<br />
<br />
"Why?..." I asked.<br />
<br />
It was an dumb question. I don't know what sort of answer I was expecting.<br />
<br />
"Because I hate you Opal Jones," he snickered. "And because this is fun,"<br />
<br />
"You sick bastard."<br />
<br />
"Where was it Fitzgerald smashed your head in?"<br />
<br />
Suddenly the stitches Doc sewed in were roughly yanked out of my head.<br />
<br />
And that was the last thing I remember. <br />
<br />
I woke up at the bottom of a well in New Jersey practically frozen to death. Judging by my broken arm, and the fact I look like a black and blueberry, I must have been dropped in.<br />
<br />
Eventually I was found and rescued by this teenager. She took me back to her house, and her family let spend the night.<br />
<br />
Lovely girl really, a little odd, but nice. And while she does bug me for a lot of details about myself, she hasn't yet asked exactly what I was doing at the bottom of a well, so I'm thankful for that.<br />
<br />
And while her parents aren't around a lot, from what I've seen of them they seem nice. <br />
<br />
What are you doing Opal? You're a walking time bomb.<br />
<br />
I should be leaving. I should've left the minute I managed to walk more than a few feet without falling over. Unfortunately there's...a complication I suppose. I'll tell you about it later when I have a better idea of what's exactly is going on in this house. <br />
<br />
I spent today cleaning my head up while no one was looking, and I've been trying to keep my arm still. When I get out of here I'll find a way to splint it.<br />
<br />
I don't know what I'm going to do about the busted stitches.<br />
<br />
Suppose it doesn't matter. It's not like I have to worry about it killing me.<br />
<br />
<br />
- OpalThe Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-32349994040714769952011-10-18T19:55:00.001-07:002011-10-18T19:55:35.522-07:00:)Lets not get too comfortable darling? We wouldn't want that now would we?The Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-53466819165345762011-10-17T22:01:00.000-07:002011-10-17T22:01:39.189-07:00BooksYou can never really get enough of them can you?<br />
<br />
True I've been getting a bit tired of the some of the dryer reads but I overall I've enjoyed it.<br />
<br />
I also managed to salvage my love for 70's music, while in this glorious place. Queen is awesome. <br />
<br />
I shouldn't be hanging here for too much longer though. I think there are some people who come here a lot who are starting to notice me, and I can't have that. I've been getting sicker too, so I know something is closing in on me.<br />
<br />
Nemo mentioned the library system in New York City was one of the biggest library systems in the world. I might head there if things here get too dodgy. The only problem is that security is bound to be tighter in a place like that, so there won't be any sleeping inside.<br />
<br />
Eh but who knows, maybe I'll get lucky and find something worth knowing there. <br />
<br />
Maybe I'll find a place that isn't freezing. This library is gets pretty cold at night.<br />
<br />
Don't Stop Me Now,<br />
<br />
- OpalThe Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-66648319218808133662011-10-12T17:44:00.000-07:002011-10-13T06:22:25.486-07:00My New ResidenceThat's right, I've found a place to set up base for a little while. I'm very proud of it too.<br />
<br />
I got some directions from a guy off the street and found a university library a little ways away from where I've been wandering around.<br />
<br />
The place is easily the size of a football stadium or something, and twice as confusing and complicated. I spent last night here, and no one noticed me. The security isn't all the tight, (because honestly, who would break in to rob a public library?)<br />
<br />
The other nice thing is that it's hours are pretty extended and I look like a student too, so no one is going to think twice about me while I'm reading. <br />
<br />
I decided to pick up the research again, and it feels nice knowing I have something to do. Today I went browsing through a bunch of mythology texts but I didn't find anything that matched up. Tomorrow I might try and find something about Mental Viruses, that can spread through more than just genes. I don't know if such a thing exists or if there are any books on it but maybe I can connect some dots on my own. <br />
<br />
There's one thing that's been bugging me, and that's the fact that now that I becoming more active again, if that means that I'm going to start drawing more attention to myself again. If that's the case I might find myself library hopping.<br />
<br />
I'll cross that bridge when I come to it though, right now I haven't been feeling too on-edge so I think I should be fine.<br />
<br />
I left my phone charger at the House, so until I buy a new one I can't call Anne. She's been pretty quiet on the other end which is worrying me, especially with that post she had about the guy in the grey mask.<br />
<br />
She's smart so I know she can avoid whatever is after her, but it makes me nervous.<br />
<br />
I'll see if I can go get a charger soon. This place probably has a student union somewhere, and I'll find what I need there.<br />
<br />
Talk to you soon,<br />
<br />
- OpalThe Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-12424948484947126712011-10-08T21:16:00.000-07:002011-10-08T21:18:11.894-07:00There's More?Well in case you didn't notice I've been pretty woebegone for the last week or so. <br />
<br />
And the way I've been acting, especially after that thing I posted last night, is really unacceptable.<br />
<br />
So yeah, I suck, feel free to throw rocks, I'm a bad person. <br />
<br />
And I guess I owe an apology to Corwin for being a bit of a smart mouth as well.<br />
<br />
So last night I got drunk, (smart move there Opal) and basically made an angry post and unleashed some of my baggage on the side walk before falling asleep on a park bench. <br />
<br />
And when I wake up?<br />
<br />
Why I'm in a jail cell. Because that's what happens when you attack someone at Burger King and then turn up in a park totally wasted.<br />
<br />
Aren't I just a genius? <br />
<br />
So basically what happened was that my little episode got caught on a security camera, and somehow the police managed to I.D. me.<br />
<br />
Here's some fun information. I'm a missing person back home in Kansas.<br />
<br />
So yeah, these two guys dragged me in last night, and this morning they actually brought a doctor in to see me if you can believe it.<br />
<br />
Now I hate bad stereotypes. And one of the bad stereotypes I simply cannot stand is that people in authority do not know what they're doing, because could any of us really say we'd do any better. So when I say this guy was a complete and total shrink in every incompetent sense of the word, know that I'm not saying it lightly.<br />
<br />
First of all he didn't even really bother to talk to me. He asked the police about me and concluded I was schizophrenic just from what they said. The whole process took him like ten minutes. Of course the whole fact the police had undeniable evidence that I'd gone crazy and started attacking people with a shovel seems like a dead give away, but he still shouldn't jump to conclusions.<br />
<br />
Which is another thing I found hilarious about this police department. No one even bothered to walk in and ask me what I was thinking, or explain exactly what was going on. I would've been snarky to them about it but I had a bad case of hangover.<br />
<br />
So they decided I was off my rocker, and were making plans to send me to a facility or something and wait until they could actually give me a 'proper' diagnosis (doh, not like we can just do that to begin with,) and I was all set to get shipped to the cuckoo's nest.<br />
<br />
And then the phone rang.<br />
<br />
Someone answered it, and there was a lot of whispering and glaring, and I wasn't paying a lot of attention.<br />
<br />
And then one of the officers got up, and just let me go.<br />
<br />
Just like that. Didn't even have to sign anything. <br />
<br />
So I grabbed my stuff and walked off and here I am.<br />
<br />
And now I find out that Anne is being stalked, and that we've been hacked again.<br />
<br />
Anne avoid that guy, alright? Avoid him like the plague. And keep safe. <br />
<br />
No more crazy though, and no more drinking and getting depressed.<br />
<br />
Don't have the energy to keep doing that. Just have to stay grounded.<br />
<br />
Sorry again,<br />
<br />
- OpalThe Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-53014670636271334262011-10-07T20:19:00.000-07:002011-10-07T20:19:13.666-07:00⊗<style>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">"⊗, then, I see Queen Mab hath been with y⊗u.<br />
She is the fairies’ midwife, and she c⊗mes<br />
In shape n⊗ bigger than an agate-st⊗ne<br />
⊗n the f⊗re-finger ⊗f an alderman,<br />
Drawn with a team ⊗f little at⊗mies<br />
Athwart men's n⊗ses as they lie asleep;<br />
Her wag⊗n-sp⊗kes made ⊗f l⊗ng spinners’ legs,<br />
The c⊗ver ⊗f the wings ⊗f grassh⊗ppers,<br />
The traces ⊗f the smallest spider's web,<br />
The c⊗llars ⊗f the m⊗⊗nshine's wat'ry beams,<br />
Her whip ⊗f cricket's b⊗ne; the lash ⊗f film;<br />
Her wagg⊗ner a small grey-c⊗ated gnat,<br />
N⊗t half s⊗ big as a r⊗und little w⊗rm<br />
Pricked fr⊗m the lazy finger ⊗f a maid:<br />
Her chari⊗t is an empty hazelnut<br />
Made by the j⊗iner squirrel ⊗r ⊗ld grub,<br />
Time ⊗ut ⊗’ mind the fairies’ c⊗achmakers.<br />
And in this state she gall⊗ps night by night<br />
Thr⊗ugh l⊗vers’ brains, and then they dream ⊗f l⊗ve;<br />
⊗’er c⊗urtiers’ knees, that dream ⊗n c⊗urt'sies straight,<br />
⊗’er lawyers’ fingers, wh⊗ straight dream ⊗n fees,<br />
⊗’er ladies ‘ lips, wh⊗ straight ⊗n kisses dream,<br />
Which ⊗ft the angry Mab with blisters plagues,<br />
Because their breaths with sweetmeats tainted are:<br />
S⊗metime she gall⊗ps ⊗’er a c⊗urtier's n⊗se,<br />
And then dreams he ⊗f smelling ⊗ut a suit;<br />
And s⊗metime c⊗mes she with a tithe-pig's tail<br />
Tickling a pars⊗n's n⊗se as a’ lies asleep,<br />
Then dreams, he ⊗f an⊗ther benefice:<br />
S⊗metime she driveth ⊗’er a s⊗ldier's neck,<br />
And then dreams he ⊗f cutting f⊗reign thr⊗ats,<br />
⊗f breaches, ambuscad⊗es, Spanish blades,<br />
⊗f healths five-fath⊗m deep; and then an⊗n<br />
Drums in his ear, at which he starts and wakes,<br />
And being thus frighted swears a prayer ⊗r tw⊗<br />
And sleeps again. This is that very Mab<br />
That plaits the manes ⊗f h⊗rses in the night,<br />
And bakes the elfl⊗cks in f⊗ul sluttish hairs,<br />
Which ⊗nce untangled, much misf⊗rtune b⊗des:<br />
This is the hag, when maids lie ⊗n their backs,<br />
That presses them and learns them first t⊗ bear,<br />
Making them w⊗men ⊗f g⊗⊗d carriage:<br />
This is she—"</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">Dear, it's time to stop playing pretend now. </div>The Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-25520944738659711542011-10-07T18:43:00.000-07:002011-10-07T19:05:54.627-07:00Heading East...I'm sick of the West. So I've decided to start heading East. Currently I'm in Wisconsin, But I'm thinking of going a bit more South, like Virginia or North Carolina.<div>I saw him again. He was just in the distance by some trees, so I just kept driving. But what's really bothering me is another proxy that's been following me, as well. He's different from the one with the red mask. His mask is gray, and he seems shorter in stature. Anyway, I haven't seen him in a few days, so I'm assuming he's either taking a break, or he's really bad at his job. Either way I'm grateful. But if he does come back, I think the shovel's still in the trunk.</div>The March Harehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06133062096473946533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8323901113873802094.post-41346869634438766322011-10-07T18:07:00.000-07:002011-10-07T18:07:52.385-07:00Dreamers often LieThings must be bad if I'm resorting to Romeo and Juliet lines for titles. <br />
<br />
Of course that's not completly true.<br />
<br />
Gosh that's such a great line though. It looks nice up there on the title doesn't it?<br />
<br />
Mercutio, Mercutio, you were so awesome. Why did Romeo havr to waltz in and get you stabbed? Huh? Would have much rather seen a play about you and Benvolio, or was that Balthazar?<br />
<br />
Hell if I can remember.<br />
<br />
So lets see...<br />
<br />
I've ben really...was it melancholy that Corwin called me? Yeah that was it.<br />
<br />
Ha Ha! That's such a lame word. Whenever I think about I always picture someone eating cantaloupe. <br />
<br />
I'm not so much running anymore as I am just wandering around aimlessly. I've gotten pretty grungy in the last few days, so I'm starting to look the part of homeless person. Can't remember the last time I bothered to eat, though I do remember that I managed to keep it down...whatever it was. Maybe it was cantaloupe. Maybe that's why I'm so melon...choly.<br />
<br />
Did you see what I did there? Aren't I clever? <br />
<br />
No. You're all to busy losing your minds to care about me and my melon puns. <br />
<br />
Not that I would really care abut me either at this point. <br />
<br />
Corwin was telling me about how what I'm doing right now isn't helping anyone and all that jazz, but honestly what has helping done?<br />
<br />
Made things worse.<br />
<br />
So I don't know what he's talking about, because obviously everything wouldn't be so screwed right now if Opal Jones had just ignored that damn air conditioner and listened to her friend when she told her that it would be safer if she moved out. <br />
<br />
<br />
...What's wrong with me? Why am I sitting here typing about this? And why am I going to post it later? Why am I walking around parks and watching people go about their regular lives like some kind of sick masochist who keeps taunting herself with things she can't have?<br />
<br />
Why aren't I screaming and banging my head against a wall? Why am I so damn indifferent all of a sudden? <br />
<br />
I killed Aggy. I killed Aggy. I killed Aggy!<br />
<br />
What's wrong with me? <br />
<br />
Why am I not completely broken?<br />
<br />
I KILLED HER!!! I KILLED HER I KILLED HER AND THERE ISN'T ANYTHING LEFT!!<br />
<br />
WHY CAN'T I JUST BURN!? WHY DO I HAVE TO JUST FREEZE OVER!?<br />
<br />
why is there so much snow?<br />
<br />
to much water hast thou...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Crap. Now my knuckles are all soar.<br />
<br />
That's why we don't punch the ground when we are upset and drunk.<br />
<br />
Although I suppose it's better than yelling at it and attacking it with a shovel.<br />
<br />
<br />
You know what hell really is? <br />
<br />
It's not some place where people are chained up and set on fire for eternity, oh no. <br />
<br />
Hell isn't full of flames or rings.<br />
<br />
It's just empty, and cold. <br />
<br />
A eternity of freezing. Growing so cold you can't feel anything anymore. But while your body freezes your mind stays intact. Imagine spending an infinite amount of time alone with nothing but yourself, and the mistakes you've made.<br />
<br />
There's not a thing you can do except curl up and bare it because you had it coming. But it isn't enough. All you want is pain, and fire. You know you deserve it, and you want it so badly. But no, all you can do is just sit and endure the cold.<br />
<br />
Because no one even cares enough to give you the punishment you deserve.<br />
<br />
That's hell.The Jade Rabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00689361271462883598noreply@blogger.com0