Opal Jones is dead.




no...no i can't be.

i don't want to die. 

But you are dead.

so dark. can't breathe. who's writing this?

You ran to the ends of the earth, and now you must go farther.

shovel

Do what everyone else has done, and end yourself.

bast

They say the world is round.

air conditioner


You and I know better.

Nemo

The world has an end.

Walls

You're standing at the edge Opal Jones.

Alice

You're in God's realm.

Anne

You're drowning

Aggy

I






















i

we?

where?

you and i

birds

don't wnt to die

bones

don't die

graves

you are

HIM

HE SEES ME

i see you


too much water hast thou


i see

poor Ophelia

i





im tired.


who's writing this?

oh, it's me.

damn.

drowning

the blackness is eating up at me. i'm neck deep and it's rising.

ian is dead. killed him. his eyes are open. he's still smiling. i don't think he could've stopped if he wanted to.

there were three of us. that's how it started.

aggy was the first. she had the book and lost it.

i came second. i found it.

iam came third. he read it.

and the book marked us all.

the book i burned. she'd hidden it in that cooler, and it needed to burn. 

ian was the one who found me after that christmas. his family was gone too, and he was smiling and crying.

he wasn't himself, and i wasn't me. IT was there in our heads, and we were empty. we wandered in these woods. he lead and i followed.

he was the butcher and i was the grave digger, and that was how it was. both of us wanted the other dead, but neither of us wanted to be alone. it was a balance.

and then aggy found her book.

aggy was smart, and she'd spent a good deal of her life running, and learning, and growing strong. her father had been a doctor and she was sure that she would be the one to end IT.

and one day she came wandering into the forest holding the book.

the book i'd found. and i attacked her, but she

she

she

there was a syringe,

there were lots of them. so many.

and she said she could fix me. and she killed me. she erased me and put someone else inside. just like IT did. and for so long I was filled with nothing but air.

then IT found me. and IT woke me up.

and she was going to kill me...she was going to let me wake up, wait for the innocent empty person to fade.

and then she would kill me.

but i got there first.

and ian can't kill me, because i got there first.

and IT can't kill me either.

nothing can kill me. 


nothing but water.

I'll kill him first

i can't

so cold

had a dream

there was a pond outside my house. there were lots of fish in it and when you threw something inside they would flop around and the whole surface of the water would just turn into nothing but thrashing fish.

he and i used to go throw things in it a lot. i thought it was fun.


he was one of my only friends, he wasn't very happy. his home was really messed up. sometimes he said things that scared me.

one day he told me he heard that if a person drowned and was saved then that person was going to die by drowning.

i told him i didn't believe that and he said that we could test it, and then he shoved me into the pond

all the fish started freaking out and I was underneath all of them and i couldn't tell if i was sinking or floating or where the surface was and i was flailing and then the water started to look green and then black and i couldn't breathe

and then he pulled me out

and he said that when i died we could see who was right and who was wrong

I'm Losing It All

I get what it was you wanted now Aggy.


You wanted me dead, didn't you? 


You wanted me dead so you wouldn't feel guilty. You wanted to destroy me so that you wouldn't have to look into my eyes and KILL a silly ignorant person. So you wouldn't have to face what you created, and rather get your revenge without consequence.


Well you got what you wanted Aggy, I'm dying. But I got you first, so jokes on you. Ha. Ha. Ha.


Have I died already? I don't think I'm dead yet. I can feel that dark thing moving around in my head, and I can feel it leaking out of me, but it hasn't gotten me yet.


I'm not going to die. I refuse to die.


Not after everything.


Ian is here. He's watching me. I can't leave, and he won't go on his own. 


I can't see him, but I know he's here. I know he and the Monster are both here. 


I wish there was something alive in this forest, but it's nothing but graves and trees and snows. My three least favorite things.


Of course if there was something alive I would probably KILL it.


I can't eat anymore. Everything that goes down just comes up again all black and horrible. 


Pathetic.

I'm so scared I disgust myself. 

I'm so petrified of death I can barely breathe, but there isn't enough left to get up and run.


There's too many memories. To many horrific things. 


So much BLOOD.


So much BLOOD on my hands.


Enough to dye the snow red.


Opal Opal Opal Opal Opal


I am Opal.


I wish I was anything but.

Happy New Year

Alice and I are in Albany, New York at the moment. Opal isn't with us, but I expect you know that already.

It's been eerily peaceful for the past week or so. No run-ins with Mr. Slendy so far, but I'm probably jinxing myself as we speak.

Anyway, last night Alice and I went to a McDonald's and had french fries while we watched the ball drop on a tiny TV hanging over the restaurant's wall. It wasn't terribly exciting, but people seem to make a big deal about it, anyway.

When I was younger, my mom used to make all of us, even my dad, write 3 goals for the new year. And I we all wished that this time, contrary to previous times, that we really would finish our resolutions. But of course, after January, everyone's new year resolutions were forgotten. There were more important things to deal with, so we put them aside, and hoped to finish them next year. But that never really happened, did it?

Anyway, I would say that my new years resolution would be to stay alive, but with my unfortunate habit of not following through on my resolutions, I would be dead by tomorrow.

But it would be nice to be able to see the ball drop just one more time, however lame and boring it is. It would be nice to write out lists of goals I'll never finish just to make my mom happy. Or perhaps to see her again, just one last time. I would like that.

Christmas

I'm remembering. Ding dong! merrily on high

No, that's not right. I'm dying aren't I? In heav'n the bells are ringing

Or am I coming back to life? I don't know. Ding dong! verily the sky

I'm not with Alice and Anne anymore. I burned that stupid cooler and bolted. Is riv'n with Angel  singing.

I promised myself that if I ever started to feel like I was slipping, I would leave. So I left. Gloria

It's so cold. I've been digging up graves, looking for the right one. I couldn't find it. Hosanna in excelsis!

But now it makes sense, it was never really there to begin with. Pray you, dutifully prime

I remember it now. Your matin chime, ye ringers;

It was Christmas Eve, and I couldn't sleep. My...mother? I think, she kept saying that if I didn't go to sleep then Santa wouldn't come, but I was scared. I didn't want to go to sleep. May you beautifully rime
I'd seen Him a handful of times before that day, and I was always scared to go to sleep. But that night was the worst. It was like the house was screaming, and every bone in my body was telling me to run and run and run and to keep running as fast as could, to the very ends of the earth. Your evetime song, ye singers.

But everyone said that monsters weren't real and that I needed to sleep, and even though I was terrified, I was so tired. And my mother kept telling me that nothing could hurt me, and nothing was coming to get me, and that when I woke up it would be Christmas and everything would be bright and happy. I trusted her, and put my faith in what I wanted to be true. Gloria

I fell asleep, and when I woke up I was alone, and it was snowing, and the house was a black skeleton of a house. Everything had gone to ashes, and He was there. Hosanna in excelsis!

There's still a foundation. There's still snow on the ground. It's still Christmas. I'm still all alone. Gloria

There are graves all over. I've got some more digging to do. Hosanna in excelsis!


Merry Christmas,

- Opal

Ha ha ha!

Aggy your such a liar.

THAT'S ALL THIS IS. IT'S NOTHING BUT LIES LIES LIES.

What you're saying is completely impossible! It isn't true! That's all there is to it.

I bet if you were alive right now, you'd be standing here laughing at me, because this is all just a big joke. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I get the joke! I'm laughing too, see?

You were mental when you died, that's all this is! It's just you and your crazy notes.

Oh god my head, why does it hurt so much?

Oh god. Oh god.

Aggy where the hell did you go? Please tell me it isn't true! It's not is it?

Oh god Aggy please.

Why would you do this to me? Why would you betray me like this?

no that's not right, you never really were on my side at all were you?

you were scared of me.

i'm scared of me.

itdoesn'tmatteritdoesn'tmatteritdoesn'tmatteritdoesn'tmatteritdoesn'tmatter

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

stop remembering, stop remembering!

I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal!

I'm Opal Jones! I'm not anyone else! I've never been anyone else!

Why is it hurting? i don't know why it hurts! i'm so angry and i hate you Aggy. i hate everything i want it to burn, and i don't know why.

too many feelings.

don't remember, don't remember, don't remember.

something has been eating me up inside, rotting away at me, like termites.
and there's something dark and horrible sitting in my stomach and i can feel it consuming me.

can't lose it now, can't lose it now.

Oh god, what have I done?

don't anyone come looking for me.

I have to find the place where the earth breaks off and drops into nothingness. I have to fall off the edge into the abyss.