I'm remembering. Ding dong! merrily on high
No, that's not right. I'm dying aren't I? In heav'n the bells are ringing
Or am I coming back to life? I don't know. Ding dong! verily the sky
I'm not with Alice and Anne anymore. I burned that stupid cooler and bolted. Is riv'n with Angel singing.
I promised myself that if I ever started to feel like I was slipping, I would leave. So I left. Gloria
It's so cold. I've been digging up graves, looking for the right one. I couldn't find it. Hosanna in excelsis!
But now it makes sense, it was never really there to begin with. Pray you, dutifully prime
I remember it now. Your matin chime, ye ringers;
It was Christmas Eve, and I couldn't sleep. My...mother? I think, she kept saying that if I didn't go to sleep then Santa wouldn't come, but I was scared. I didn't want to go to sleep. May you beautifully rime
I'd seen Him a handful of times before that day, and I was always scared to go to sleep. But that night was the worst. It was like the house was screaming, and every bone in my body was telling me to run and run and run and to keep running as fast as could, to the very ends of the earth. Your evetime song, ye singers.
But everyone said that monsters weren't real and that I needed to sleep, and even though I was terrified, I was so tired. And my mother kept telling me that nothing could hurt me, and nothing was coming to get me, and that when I woke up it would be Christmas and everything would be bright and happy. I trusted her, and put my faith in what I wanted to be true. Gloria
I fell asleep, and when I woke up I was alone, and it was snowing, and the house was a black skeleton of a house. Everything had gone to ashes, and He was there. Hosanna in excelsis!
There's still a foundation. There's still snow on the ground. It's still Christmas. I'm still all alone. Gloria
There are graves all over. I've got some more digging to do. Hosanna in excelsis!
Merry Christmas,
- Opal
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Ha ha ha!
Aggy your such a liar.
THAT'S ALL THIS IS. IT'S NOTHING BUT LIES LIES LIES.
What you're saying is completely impossible! It isn't true! That's all there is to it.
I bet if you were alive right now, you'd be standing here laughing at me, because this is all just a big joke. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I get the joke! I'm laughing too, see?
You were mental when you died, that's all this is! It's just you and your crazy notes.
Oh god my head, why does it hurt so much?
Oh god. Oh god.
Aggy where the hell did you go? Please tell me it isn't true! It's not is it?
Oh god Aggy please.
Why would you do this to me? Why would you betray me like this?
no that's not right, you never really were on my side at all were you?
you were scared of me.
i'm scared of me.
itdoesn'tmatteritdoesn'tmatteritdoesn'tmatteritdoesn'tmatteritdoesn'tmatter
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!
stop remembering, stop remembering!
I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal!
I'm Opal Jones! I'm not anyone else! I've never been anyone else!
Why is it hurting? i don't know why it hurts! i'm so angry and i hate you Aggy. i hate everything i want it to burn, and i don't know why.
too many feelings.
don't remember, don't remember, don't remember.
something has been eating me up inside, rotting away at me, like termites.
and there's something dark and horrible sitting in my stomach and i can feel it consuming me.
can't lose it now, can't lose it now.
Oh god, what have I done?
don't anyone come looking for me.
I have to find the place where the earth breaks off and drops into nothingness. I have to fall off the edge into the abyss.
THAT'S ALL THIS IS. IT'S NOTHING BUT LIES LIES LIES.
What you're saying is completely impossible! It isn't true! That's all there is to it.
I bet if you were alive right now, you'd be standing here laughing at me, because this is all just a big joke. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I get the joke! I'm laughing too, see?
You were mental when you died, that's all this is! It's just you and your crazy notes.
Oh god my head, why does it hurt so much?
Oh god. Oh god.
Aggy where the hell did you go? Please tell me it isn't true! It's not is it?
Oh god Aggy please.
Why would you do this to me? Why would you betray me like this?
no that's not right, you never really were on my side at all were you?
you were scared of me.
i'm scared of me.
itdoesn'tmatteritdoesn'tmatteritdoesn'tmatteritdoesn'tmatteritdoesn'tmatter
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!
stop remembering, stop remembering!
I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal!
I'm Opal Jones! I'm not anyone else! I've never been anyone else!
Why is it hurting? i don't know why it hurts! i'm so angry and i hate you Aggy. i hate everything i want it to burn, and i don't know why.
too many feelings.
don't remember, don't remember, don't remember.
something has been eating me up inside, rotting away at me, like termites.
and there's something dark and horrible sitting in my stomach and i can feel it consuming me.
can't lose it now, can't lose it now.
Oh god, what have I done?
don't anyone come looking for me.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Smash
I'm sitting in a hospital right now.
I can't stand how stupid I can be sometimes.
As you most likely guessed I finally figured out the message Aggy left me, and looking back it seems really obvious now.
The exact message said, "If you want to win the game you have to strategize," and then the numbers were (66 8 13) (27 3 14) (234 8 20/21.)
At first I thought they were combinations to locks, and I went back to her apartment to see if I could find a safe or anything. After I tore her apartment apart and didn't find anything, I tried a lot of math stuff with the numbers, and for a while I though they were talking about her blood type theory on proxies or that I was translating a code within a code. Each combination had a multiple of three a multiple of two and a prime number with the exception of the last combination, so I thought maybe I was working with a combination of 1's, 2's and 3's or possible A's, B's and C's . I ran it through a few other types of codes I found on the internet and none of them worked, and I was beginning to feel like Aggy had just been typing more messed up dates.
But then the other day I remembered something about how sometimes people use numbers that refer to words in books, and it didn't take me to long to figure out she had used Ender's Game, since she knew I had a copy and that I'd been reading it, (although I'd almost forgot about it until now,)
So the first number is the page number, the second being the paragraph number, and the third being the number of the word in the paragraph, the message translated to this;
Look By The Lake
There was only one lake I could think of that she would've visited long enough to hide anything. The last time she and I had a real conversation.
So that was it. We packed up and headed out.
We made it to Arizona about a week ago, and started looking. We checked a lot of the lake on the first day, (namely the parts that weren't in the woods) but didn't find anything.
Anne and I did a little brainstorming and decided that there was a good chance that if Aggy had hidden anything it would probably have been by the place where I woke up after she disappeared. That would involve going pretty deep into the forest, which wasn't very comforting at the time.
I was also getting a little paranoid I guess. Afraid that this little treasure hunt was going to end badly.
Despite all the hemming and hawing from me, we wound up going in together so no one would be left by themselves. It took a while to find the place, just because we were going on my memory, but after a couple of hours of searching, we found a tree with a red operator symbol spray painted on it, and an arrow pointing down at the ground.
Anne and I (mostly Anne) started digging and poking around the tree trying to see if she had buried anything there, while Alice kept watch.
It took maybe ten minutes until we heard a little clunk, and then another forty five for the time it took for us to dig it up. We found a cooler.
Inside were lots of tapes and books and pieces of paper with Aggy's handwriting all over them.
And that was about as far as our good luck went. Because right then was when Luca started barking and growling.
"So you found it, then?"
He always sneaks up on me doesn't he? Even when I'm expecting him.
Elmer Fudd was leaning against a tree, watching us with that smug look of his. The stupid bastard was probably hiding there the whole time, waiting for us.
Needless to say we didn't stay very long for conversation. It was kind of funny, the three of us running with that bulky cooler, while the dog attacked that freak's leg.
It didn't take him long to kick the dog off and go after us, or maybe it just seemed like it went by really fast. Time was moving weird, and I'm not sure if that was natural or not. The tree's starting blending together, and we were moving like slugs.
And then we saw Him.
That makes three times Kittykins and I have met.
I don't remember a lot of what happened. I do remember the headache I was feeling. It was like someone was flashing a strobe light in my eyes while simultaneously trying to jack hammer their way into my skull.
Long story short, when I woke up I was in the car with Anne and the cooler.
Alice wasn't there.
I honestly thought we'd lost her for good. But Anne drove around the park and we found her. She was off a back road, lying out next to some old dirt road. I'm guessing she must have been there for an hour or so. She was barely awake, and there was a rip in her side. We got her in the car and tried to patch her up, but that didn't go so well.
After a very long argument with Anne we wound up taking her to the hospital. That's where we are now.
So long as she's okay I guess that's all that matters.
She's asleep and has been for about a day or two. The people at the hospital have been nice enough so far, and have not asked very many questions. I feel bad since I know that were mostly going to be sneaking out with so much as paying the tab. Maybe I'll write a very heartfelt thank you letter. Of course it would probably curse them all.
I feel like I'm leaving destruction in my wake, or maybe everyone and everything I know now is actually so fragile that it really does shatter every other moment or two.
That's a sad thought.
I tried reading some of the stuff in the cooler, but then stopped. I'm not ready to read what's in there.
I don't think I'm ever going to be. It can't be true! IT ISN'T IT ISN'T IT ISN'T!!!
This is all my fault.
I don't think I'm meant to hold things together, despite how much I'd like to. It's just that everywhere I turn I feel like I'm the wrecking ball that's shattering everything.
Shattering things like mirrors.
At least I know I've got a long life ahead of me, what with all the years of bad luck I'm getting.
- Opal
I can't stand how stupid I can be sometimes.
As you most likely guessed I finally figured out the message Aggy left me, and looking back it seems really obvious now.
The exact message said, "If you want to win the game you have to strategize," and then the numbers were (66 8 13) (27 3 14) (234 8 20/21.)
At first I thought they were combinations to locks, and I went back to her apartment to see if I could find a safe or anything. After I tore her apartment apart and didn't find anything, I tried a lot of math stuff with the numbers, and for a while I though they were talking about her blood type theory on proxies or that I was translating a code within a code. Each combination had a multiple of three a multiple of two and a prime number with the exception of the last combination, so I thought maybe I was working with a combination of 1's, 2's and 3's or possible A's, B's and C's . I ran it through a few other types of codes I found on the internet and none of them worked, and I was beginning to feel like Aggy had just been typing more messed up dates.
But then the other day I remembered something about how sometimes people use numbers that refer to words in books, and it didn't take me to long to figure out she had used Ender's Game, since she knew I had a copy and that I'd been reading it, (although I'd almost forgot about it until now,)
So the first number is the page number, the second being the paragraph number, and the third being the number of the word in the paragraph, the message translated to this;
Look By The Lake
There was only one lake I could think of that she would've visited long enough to hide anything. The last time she and I had a real conversation.
So that was it. We packed up and headed out.
We made it to Arizona about a week ago, and started looking. We checked a lot of the lake on the first day, (namely the parts that weren't in the woods) but didn't find anything.
Anne and I did a little brainstorming and decided that there was a good chance that if Aggy had hidden anything it would probably have been by the place where I woke up after she disappeared. That would involve going pretty deep into the forest, which wasn't very comforting at the time.
I was also getting a little paranoid I guess. Afraid that this little treasure hunt was going to end badly.
Despite all the hemming and hawing from me, we wound up going in together so no one would be left by themselves. It took a while to find the place, just because we were going on my memory, but after a couple of hours of searching, we found a tree with a red operator symbol spray painted on it, and an arrow pointing down at the ground.
Anne and I (mostly Anne) started digging and poking around the tree trying to see if she had buried anything there, while Alice kept watch.
It took maybe ten minutes until we heard a little clunk, and then another forty five for the time it took for us to dig it up. We found a cooler.
Inside were lots of tapes and books and pieces of paper with Aggy's handwriting all over them.
And that was about as far as our good luck went. Because right then was when Luca started barking and growling.
"So you found it, then?"
He always sneaks up on me doesn't he? Even when I'm expecting him.
Elmer Fudd was leaning against a tree, watching us with that smug look of his. The stupid bastard was probably hiding there the whole time, waiting for us.
Needless to say we didn't stay very long for conversation. It was kind of funny, the three of us running with that bulky cooler, while the dog attacked that freak's leg.
It didn't take him long to kick the dog off and go after us, or maybe it just seemed like it went by really fast. Time was moving weird, and I'm not sure if that was natural or not. The tree's starting blending together, and we were moving like slugs.
And then we saw Him.
That makes three times Kittykins and I have met.
I don't remember a lot of what happened. I do remember the headache I was feeling. It was like someone was flashing a strobe light in my eyes while simultaneously trying to jack hammer their way into my skull.
Long story short, when I woke up I was in the car with Anne and the cooler.
Alice wasn't there.
I honestly thought we'd lost her for good. But Anne drove around the park and we found her. She was off a back road, lying out next to some old dirt road. I'm guessing she must have been there for an hour or so. She was barely awake, and there was a rip in her side. We got her in the car and tried to patch her up, but that didn't go so well.
After a very long argument with Anne we wound up taking her to the hospital. That's where we are now.
So long as she's okay I guess that's all that matters.
She's asleep and has been for about a day or two. The people at the hospital have been nice enough so far, and have not asked very many questions. I feel bad since I know that were mostly going to be sneaking out with so much as paying the tab. Maybe I'll write a very heartfelt thank you letter. Of course it would probably curse them all.
I feel like I'm leaving destruction in my wake, or maybe everyone and everything I know now is actually so fragile that it really does shatter every other moment or two.
That's a sad thought.
I tried reading some of the stuff in the cooler, but then stopped. I'm not ready to read what's in there.
I don't think I'm ever going to be. It can't be true! IT ISN'T IT ISN'T IT ISN'T!!!
This is all my fault.
I don't think I'm meant to hold things together, despite how much I'd like to. It's just that everywhere I turn I feel like I'm the wrecking ball that's shattering everything.
Shattering things like mirrors.
At least I know I've got a long life ahead of me, what with all the years of bad luck I'm getting.
- Opal
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