Sunday, December 25, 2011


I'm remembering. Ding dong! merrily on high

No, that's not right. I'm dying aren't I? In heav'n the bells are ringing

Or am I coming back to life? I don't know. Ding dong! verily the sky

I'm not with Alice and Anne anymore. I burned that stupid cooler and bolted. Is riv'n with Angel  singing.

I promised myself that if I ever started to feel like I was slipping, I would leave. So I left. Gloria

It's so cold. I've been digging up graves, looking for the right one. I couldn't find it. Hosanna in excelsis!

But now it makes sense, it was never really there to begin with. Pray you, dutifully prime

I remember it now. Your matin chime, ye ringers;

It was Christmas Eve, and I couldn't sleep. My...mother? I think, she kept saying that if I didn't go to sleep then Santa wouldn't come, but I was scared. I didn't want to go to sleep. May you beautifully rime
I'd seen Him a handful of times before that day, and I was always scared to go to sleep. But that night was the worst. It was like the house was screaming, and every bone in my body was telling me to run and run and run and to keep running as fast as could, to the very ends of the earth. Your evetime song, ye singers.

But everyone said that monsters weren't real and that I needed to sleep, and even though I was terrified, I was so tired. And my mother kept telling me that nothing could hurt me, and nothing was coming to get me, and that when I woke up it would be Christmas and everything would be bright and happy. I trusted her, and put my faith in what I wanted to be true. Gloria

I fell asleep, and when I woke up I was alone, and it was snowing, and the house was a black skeleton of a house. Everything had gone to ashes, and He was there. Hosanna in excelsis!

There's still a foundation. There's still snow on the ground. It's still Christmas. I'm still all alone. Gloria

There are graves all over. I've got some more digging to do. Hosanna in excelsis!

Merry Christmas,

- Opal

Monday, December 12, 2011

Ha ha ha!

Aggy your such a liar.


What you're saying is completely impossible! It isn't true! That's all there is to it.

I bet if you were alive right now, you'd be standing here laughing at me, because this is all just a big joke. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I get the joke! I'm laughing too, see?

You were mental when you died, that's all this is! It's just you and your crazy notes.

Oh god my head, why does it hurt so much?

Oh god. Oh god.

Aggy where the hell did you go? Please tell me it isn't true! It's not is it?

Oh god Aggy please.

Why would you do this to me? Why would you betray me like this?

no that's not right, you never really were on my side at all were you?

you were scared of me.

i'm scared of me.



stop remembering, stop remembering!

I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal! I'm opal!

I'm Opal Jones! I'm not anyone else! I've never been anyone else!

Why is it hurting? i don't know why it hurts! i'm so angry and i hate you Aggy. i hate everything i want it to burn, and i don't know why.

too many feelings.

don't remember, don't remember, don't remember.

something has been eating me up inside, rotting away at me, like termites.
and there's something dark and horrible sitting in my stomach and i can feel it consuming me.

can't lose it now, can't lose it now.

Oh god, what have I done?

don't anyone come looking for me.

I have to find the place where the earth breaks off and drops into nothingness. I have to fall off the edge into the abyss.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011


I'm sitting in a hospital right now. 

I can't stand how stupid I can be sometimes.

As you most likely guessed I finally figured out the message Aggy left me, and looking back it seems really obvious now.

The exact message said, "If you want to win the game you have to strategize," and then the numbers were (66 8 13) (27 3 14) (234  8  20/21.)

At first I thought they were combinations to locks, and I went back to her apartment to see if I could find a safe or anything. After I tore her apartment apart and didn't find anything, I tried a lot of math stuff with the numbers, and for a while I though they were talking about her blood type theory on proxies or that I was translating a code within a code. Each combination had a multiple of three a multiple of two and a prime number with the exception of the last combination, so I thought maybe I was working with a combination of 1's, 2's and 3's or possible A's, B's and C's . I ran it through a few other types of codes I found on the internet and none of them worked, and I was beginning to feel like Aggy had just been typing more messed up dates.

But then the other day I remembered something about how sometimes people use numbers that refer to words in books, and it didn't take me to long to figure out she had used Ender's Game, since she knew I had a copy and that I'd been reading it, (although I'd almost forgot about it until now,)

So the first number is the page number, the second being the paragraph number, and the third being the number of the word in the paragraph, the message translated to this;

Look By The Lake

There was only one lake I could think of that she would've visited long enough to hide anything. The last time she and I had a real conversation.

So that was it. We packed up and headed out.

We made it to Arizona about a week ago, and started looking. We checked a lot of the lake on the first day, (namely the parts that weren't in the woods) but didn't find anything.

Anne and I did a little brainstorming and decided that there was a good chance that if Aggy had hidden anything it would probably have been by the place where I woke up after she disappeared. That would involve going pretty deep into the forest, which wasn't very comforting at the time.

I was also getting a little paranoid I guess. Afraid that this little treasure hunt was going to end badly. 

Despite all the hemming and hawing from me, we wound up going in together so no one would be left by themselves. It took a while to find the place, just because we were going on my memory, but after a couple of hours of searching, we found a tree with a red operator symbol spray painted on it, and an arrow pointing down at the ground.

Anne and I (mostly Anne) started digging and poking around the tree trying to see if she had buried anything there, while Alice kept watch.

It took maybe ten minutes until we heard a little clunk, and then another forty five for the time it took for us to dig it up. We found a cooler.
Inside were lots of tapes and books and pieces of paper with Aggy's handwriting all over them.

And that was about as far as our good luck went. Because right then was when Luca started barking and growling.

"So you found it, then?"

He always sneaks up on me doesn't he? Even when I'm expecting him.

Elmer Fudd was leaning against a tree, watching us with that smug look of his. The stupid bastard was probably hiding there the whole time, waiting for us.

Needless to say we didn't stay very long for conversation. It was kind of funny, the three of us running with that bulky cooler, while the dog attacked that freak's leg.

It didn't take him long to kick the dog off and go after us, or maybe it just seemed like it went by really fast. Time was moving weird, and I'm not sure if that was natural or not. The tree's starting blending together, and we were moving like slugs.

And then we saw Him.

That makes three times Kittykins and I have met.

I don't remember a lot of what happened. I do remember the headache I was feeling. It was like someone was flashing a strobe light in my eyes while simultaneously trying to jack hammer their way into my skull.

Long story short, when I woke up I was in the car with Anne and the cooler.

Alice wasn't there.

I honestly thought we'd lost her for good. But Anne drove around the park and we found her. She was off a back road, lying out next to some old dirt road. I'm guessing she must have been there for an hour or so. She was barely awake, and there was a rip in her side. We got her in the car and tried to patch her up, but that didn't go so well.

After a very long argument with Anne we wound up taking her to the hospital. That's where we are now.

So long as she's okay I guess that's all that matters.

She's asleep and has been for about a day or two. The people at the hospital have been nice enough so far, and have not asked very many questions. I feel bad since I know that were mostly going to be sneaking out with so much as paying the tab. Maybe I'll write a very heartfelt thank you letter. Of course it would probably curse them all.

I feel like I'm leaving destruction in my wake, or maybe everyone and everything I know now is actually so fragile that it really does shatter every other moment or two.

That's a sad thought.

I tried reading some of the stuff in the cooler, but then stopped. I'm not ready to read what's in there.

I don't think I'm ever going to be. It can't be true! IT ISN'T IT ISN'T IT ISN'T!!!

This is all my fault.

I don't think I'm meant to hold things together, despite how much I'd like to. It's just that everywhere I turn I feel like I'm the wrecking ball that's shattering everything. 

Shattering things like mirrors.

At least I know I've got a long life ahead of me, what with all the years of bad luck I'm getting.

- Opal

Monday, November 28, 2011

Happy Make Your Own Head Day

Well I was going to start up by saying the whole world has gone to hell 'again,' but I'm starting to fear if I keep saying that it will lose meaning.

It's time I start dealing with some stuff that's been going on recently.

Let's start at the beginning.

Michael is dead.

Or so I believe. If he is, it means he got what he wanted, and he ended it all himself. Me and him had a last heart to heart, the night before his blog locked down. He gave me his notebooks and a note, and we said are goodbyes.

Didn't want him to die. Not that I didn't see it coming, oh no. He was counting down the amount of time he had left, and for the last month or so I've been borderline begging him to try and fight and make it.

There was also and accident at Hope, which I now believe is no longer up and running. Some people were killed. One person in particular was rather sad to find about, although I'm not going to talk about it here. That would be counterproductive. 

Now I just don't feel very much at all on the matter. I haven't been doing a lot of feeling for the last couple of days. Although there was that unbearable thanksgiving dinner Anne tried to cook. I let her tell you about that when she gets the time. I swear one of the best dinners I've ever had, even with the food. Made me want to cry afterwards.

Other than that I've just been sort of...out of it, I guess. I'm trying not to be mopey, and have been working pretty hard on getting Aggy's stuff taken care of, and trying to figure out her text message.

So far I've got zilch, so I don't know what she was hoping I would do with it.

I feel like a toy. Somebodies pawn in a really horrific game of chess, and I don't know whose side I'm playing on anymore, or even which side is which.

It doesn't matter though, you just have to keep playing the game and trying to win even though you don't care anymore.

Makes you want to set the chessboard on fire, but then what other sad pawns are you killing?

I don't know anymore.

I think Aggy did. I think she might've even been good at this game. She definitely seems to keep hinting that she knows a lot about it. All this talk about winning and being strategical sounds just like her. She really liked games like that, and she used to beat me all the time too. I'm really no good at thi

Hold on.

Change of plans. We're packing up right now, and heading for Arizona.
I'll update when we get there. :)

- Opal

Friday, November 25, 2011

What Am I Thankful For?

I'm thankful I'm alive, and that Anne and Alice are alive, and that somehow the world manages to keep turning on its axis even with all of the horror and atrocities that take place inside it.

This week has been a death week,  maybe the second worst week of my life, and yet I look outside and I see people raking leaves and father's coming home and kissing their children, and people sitting down to eat and feeling thankful for what they have.

The world is sad and beautiful, and every time I acknowledge that fact it makes me want to cry.

We had an interesting thanksgiving dinner tonight, and for some reason I want to laugh and feel happy. How can I? How can I, without feeling like a monster for being happy?

These problems never used to confuse me.

In any case, if anyone out there is reading this, look out your window, and look at life, and smile at a regular person. Please. It hurts. It's wonderful to watch life. Life is gorgeous and amazing and horrible and tragic, but to live life is a gift. Be thankful for that gift, before it is taken away, and be thankful for the knowledge that life will continue to exist, even if you don't.

We should leave Kansas soon. It's high time we started moving again.

Thursday, November 17, 2011


Today was a terrible day, tomorrow will be better.

How many times am I going to repeat that to myself?

Is it ever going to get better?

I feel old.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Hello Blog, I almost forgot about you.

Here I am in Kansas. Yay!

You know what they say right? No place like home.

Although to be fair we're staying at Anne's house. She was very pleased to see that the whole place didn't go up in flames like mine did. (Though I don't know how long that's going to last if she keeps trying to cook, honestly Anne stay away from the kitchen,)

When she made it back to the house she practically crushed me she was so happy to see me. It was a weird feeling. I think she's ignoring the events that took place after I left, which doesn't make much sense to me. Maybe she just doesn't feel like she has it in her to deal with it yet.

She and I haven't talked too much since she got back. She's been sleeping through most of the day, and late at night I can hear her shuffling around doing stuff, like she's suddenly become nocturnal. I haven't pried on it too much because we've all been getting pretty strange hours of sleep over here, but it's almost like she's just reversed her sleep schedule completely. She may just be scared of trying to sleep in the dark, which given the circumstances I don't blame her for.

Alice is getting pretty good with a shovel, although she's been diving under the couch whenever anyone opens the door so we might need to work on how to react in an emergency situation (because I am so good at that aren't I?)

And there is also another addition to the family now it seems. You guys remember Luca right? (I don't blame you if you don't because I barely remembered who he was until he was on top of me licking my face off.) He's Anne's rottweiler. He'd been staying with some neighbors after Anne and I set out for Vegas. After she got back she went and picked him up, and now he's underneath the table drooling on my feet.

I'm a little worried, seeing as how before all of this started I 'had' a cat. However Luca's a bit more burly than she was, and if by chance there's anything lurking outside, he should be able to bark loud enough to alert half the neighborhood.

And as for me.

Guess it's high time I stopped keeping this little secret.

I got a message from Aggy.

Found it a little while after I started staying at the library. 

It was on my cellphone, and from what I can tell she left it right after she died. Like hours before.

You know, I always feel weird watching old black and white silent footage, just because I know everyone I'm watching has died a long time ago. In my opinion it's the closest you can really get to watching ghosts.

Seeing a text from Aggy on my phone wasn't much different. It felt like she was watching me while I read it, waiting for me to send a reply.

The message didn't have a lot on it, all it said was this.


If you want to win the game, you have to strategize,

After that there was a series of numbers, (which I'm going to keep to myself, lest someone be reading this blog who isn't looking out for my better interest,) and then this,

Beware the Water,

Stop Burning Books.

Don't Forget.


The reason I came back was to look through Aggy's apartment again for anything I missed the first time. I've been going through it, but the place was a lot neater the second time I visited, which I think means that Aggy beat me to it and straightened up before anyone could find anything.

This is a good sign though, because it means there was definitely something she didn't want anyone else to find. Maybe it was some more research she'd kept hidden, or a clue of some kind.

I'm beginning to think there's a whole other level to her death, and I need to figure out what her message means.

That's really all I have to report on for now.

If anything happens I'll let you guys know,

- Opal

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Winter Is Stupid

I'm sure the woodland creatures of Narnia would vouch for me on this one.

Winter is cold, wet,  annoying and it lasts much longer than it should. But here we are, just a few weeks away from the end of autumn, (which sucks because autumn is the best season of them all.)

It probably wouldn't be so bad if the heat in the car was working, but looking back on all my "A/C" problems before this, I can't say I'm surprised. But that's okay, because I have sweaters and we're bundled up tight.

Yes that was a "We're,"

I'll get to that in a second.

I left Hope, which believe it or not feels like a giant weight off my shoulders. Not that the solitary confinement wasn't fun, I guess I just feel happy to be moving again.

Actually, that's the really weird thing. I haven't been feeling too miserable at all these past couple of days. I think I'm starting to get my drive back, which is awesome. It feels incredible to be able to know what I should be doing, because I don't think I've really known since way back in August.

I also seemed to have picked up a hitchhiker.

Alice, (you remember, the girl who pulled me out of a well?) decided she wanted to join me, (heaven knows why) so she's here along for the ride.

According to her, she's here to make sure I stay safe because I managed to end up half-dead in a well, even before I broke my arm, so it's best if I have help.

To be completely honest, it might be better is she's here with me anyway. Hope's been seeming, I don't know...I guess I was a little worried about her trying to manage there on her own, especially with all the stuff that's been happening.

Of course I'm not sure how I'm going to manage to take care of her any better than the people there could.

I going to try and teach her how to take care of herself, and so far she seems much more promising than I did starting out, (and not just because she's about twice my size.) She'll probably be a lot better with a shovel if it comes to that again. Might as well help her equip herself.

It'll probably take a good four or five days to get back to Kansas at the rate we're going. Driving with one arm wears you out. Might be able to pick up the pace a little bit, we'll see.

I feel like I'm starting to get it together, so we'll see how long that lasts.

I'll keep you guys posted,

- Opal

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

I'm Starting To Think I Think Too Much...

I'm leaving here soon. Just need the OK from Elaine, and I'm hitting the road.

I need to head back to Kansas. I'm starting to feel like there was a lot more to Aggy's death than I originally anticipated. I've already called Anne, we're going to meet up there.

It'll be strange seeing her. She sounded happy to hear from me on the phone, although that could've just been fear I was picking up on.

I hope she isn't scared of me.

On a less depressing note, I've been doing a little psyche searching and I've managed to come up with a few memories. They all seem like things from early on in my life, I was probably just a kid when they happened. They are all pretty odd.

I remember a curtain. It was checkered and light blue, and whenever I picture it, it's always against a bright blue sky, with white clouds floating lazily by. 

Like I said, it's an odd memory to have, but it's there. I'm assuming it must have been mine or my families, maybe I used to love looking out windows back then. I still like to now, so the chances are good.

The Australian Picture book, I still don't remember the contents exactly, or the nightmares it gave me. But I remember a general unpleasantness yet at the same time attractiveness about it. I think this is probably the most detailed memory I have.

There's a list of rules in there too. Things I wasn't allowed to do. "Don't wipe your mouth on your sleeve, no cats in the house, keep things tidy,"
There's never a voice that gives the rules, or any particular time I can remember following or not following them, but the rules themselves remain. That's funny, because I guess rules are something that really implant themselves in a kid's mind.

There's a few other odd things here and there, sounds and feelings that don't make sense.

The only memory I have that's a real memory, is more like a quick image of a moment. I can hold on to it for just a fraction of place and time, but I can't see what happens before or after.

I'm lying on my side in the grass, and there are small wildflowers blowing around me. Everything's really out of focus, and it feels like I'm remembering it underwater or something. The feelings that I have with it feel peaceful and pensive, and the memory itself is familiar, like it isn't just one moment but hundreds all smashed together into a single image.

These memories are starting to scare me, and I'm not sure how much I want to remember.

I know that remembering is the right thing to do if I want to find some kind of clarity with my life, but I'm worried about what there is to learn. I'm worried about what Aggy knew that I didn't.

I really need to get out of my own head. It's not a fun place to be stuck in.

- Opal

Friday, October 28, 2011

Of Captain Nemo

Well, things have gone to hell again. Though to be honest I wasn't really sure if we'd ever gone back, but yeah, there's been some more drama to add to the pile.

Two days ago Michael revealed something rather shocking.

And now I think it's time I talk about something that happened a few weeks ago that I never mentioned. But now that all this has happened, I think it might help in explaining some things.

Michael has been splitting for a while now. Back when he got me away from the house, and we were driving towards the state border; I think that's when I realized how bad it was.

In hindsight, I'm starting to understand what that week must have been like for him. After what happened to Jessica, watching my episode and seeing Spencer have a shindig with my head must have been like watching the events replay themselves.

The day after Aggy died (or it was the same day wasn't it,) I woke up in the back of his car and we were on our way to New York. You know that much, right?

So there I was tied up in the back of Nemo's van, and I was sort of numb at that time, that is, I was trying very hard to not focus on what had happened the night before.

Now I am a classical music fan. However waking up to find it blasting so loud you're afraid your ears are going to fall off is not a pleasant experience. That was the first odd thing.

I asked him to turn it down some and he complied, but for the whole drive he kept turning it up little by little.

The other weird thing was that he seemed completely chipper the whole ride.

And whenever he spoke, instead of saying I or me, he said Us.

So I pestered and asked him what was going on, and why he was acting weird, and I found out.

I don't know for sure but Michael has got some kind of Multiple Personality thing going on inside his head.

Michael has already used the path. According to him, it split his mind into a bunch of tiny pieces and they were trying too put themselves back together.

  Apparently I was speaking to a part of Michael named No One. Someone who seemed more Proxy than runner.

I think this was the mindset Michael was in when he started damning people on his blog.

To save time now, I'm going to skip a lot of the details and just tell you that I really, really disliked him. He didn't have a lot of happy things to say, despite how bubbly he sounded.

I told him I wanted to talk to Nemo, and after a bit of convincing he obliged, and switched personalities.

Nemo of course didn't remember one thing about the whole ride. I tried to explain to him what was going on but he ignored me and said it was something he "didn't need to hear."

After that he left, and I was really worried.

Then he came to Hope and he posted this, and I thought for one shining moment that maybe he was going to be alright. That Hope had somehow fixed him in a way that I couldn't.

Then he posted this, and I started to wonder.

And then two nights ago I realized how bad it was, and how wrong I had been.

One of the funny things about Hope is that there is a whole floor for dangerous/unstable persons to be locked up in so they won't go crazy hurt the other residents. This is where I have been staying for the last couple of days, along with Alice.

So other than my room and the bathroom I haven't seen Hope. I don't even know where it is exactly since I was blindfolded on the way in.

But so far my only visitors had been Elaine and Michael, (and a guy named Shaun I suppose but we haven't talked a whole lot.)

Basically the rules are that so long as I stay in my room and don't got bonkers I'm allowed to stay, (I'm trying to work out a loophole for Alice but it isn't looking good.)

But so anyway, Michael came to visit me with some dinner that night.

Before that he'd already been acting weird, talking about there being a camera in my brain or some crap like that, so I was already unnerved. We came down and chatted for a bit and then...

I guess the correct way to word this was that he started to torment me. At first I thought that it was because he was trying to get me to open up or face some of the stuff that's been dragging me down lately. But he seemed so cheerful, he actually was enjoying himself.

And then he told me.

He wasn't Michael, he wasn't Nemo, he wasn't even No One.

He was a proxy.

He made a few threats, said he was going to leave.

I told him that I'd cause a riot, get the whole place's attention.

Torment, torment, torment,

He tried to attack me, and that somehow ended in him getting hit in the face with a lamp.

I tried to get out of the room, and lock him in.

I got the door open, but Elaine was standing there.

And he started shouting for help. And it sounded like him. And he sounded scared.

Elaine and him combined were enough to shove me back into the room. I could hear them talking on the other side of the door.

"What happened?"

"She tried to brain me with a lamp?"

That isn't him.

"Did you say anything?"

"I think she's finally flipped,"

That isn't him.

From the tiny windows in my room, I think I could see the lights of a car driving away a few hours later. Michael left.

And yesterday he seemed to spiral down even further when he woke up and realized all of what had happened.

I owe Michael a lot. I owe him for getting me away from the House, I owe him for sticking by me for most of this, and I owe him for being my friend.

And even though I am so furious with him, I'm scared for him.

I don't want him to go.

When he reads this, (and I know you are) I hope he realizes that you can care very much for a person, and still be angry with them at the same time.

I hope that he doesn't give up.

Because giving up is a horrible thing to do.

I realize that now.

- Opal

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

What Happened To Living In A Cave?

I've killed another person.

Granted this time I had a reason, one that I think most people would consider a good reason to kill a person. murderer, murderer, murderer, murderer, murderer, murderer, murderer, murderer, murderer, murderer, murderer. 
The family who rescued me from the well. Their daughter, Alice, was infected. Coincidence, Or..?

She told me that she'd only been living with the family for a short time; that her real parents had died when she was younger and that she'd been living as a foster child.

She told me she had nightmares about Him, not really understanding who He was or what that meant.

I didn't know what to do.

On the one hand I could've left and tried to deal with my own multiplying problems, or on the other hand I could've tried to help her and her family by calmly explaining the situation and enjoy a trip to an insane asylum. where who knows who else would die

I never really got to make that decision.

It was late afternoon if I remember right (don't count on that).

I'd been sort of half asleep, but I remember hearing a baby crying. This family has a small baby. I had watched him a few times while the mother went out, (baby sitting is weird,) so I recognized his cry pretty quickly.

I peaked out into the hall. There was a body lying on the floor. another one.

It was the father. His eyes were open. Why are they always staring?

I ran out to the garage as quickly as I could. Sure enough, there was a small shovel propped up against the wall.

Ran back in, practically smashed my way into the nursery.

There was the mother, bleeding out on the floor. Close your eyes, you aren't alive anymore.

Alice was pressed up against the back wall crouched over the baby. Why is wailing such a familiar noise?

There was a guy in a black mask standing there with a knife. At first I thought it was someone else.

I swung the shovel at him just as he turned to see who had come in.

Not a great swing seeing as how I was doing one handed, but it knocked him down all the same.

Told Alice to get out of the house. She was terrified, but she listened.

The proxy gave me a look from his place on the floor. "What the hell?"

I jammed the shovel into his side, and he winced. He grabbed the shovel and gave me an angry look, but then he stopped.

There was a tense pause where we just stared at each other.

He said something awful. Don't even think I can type it here. Dreamers Lie 

I think I heard myself snap, suddenly I was slamming the shovel down on top of him as hard as I could.

He was terrified. Like he'd seen a ghost.

Blow after blow after blow.

I heard a crunching noise in the background somewhere, and I was barely aware of the fact my arm (which was just broken before this) was shattering into pieces.

It didn't take long for him to die.  But what was it he said to you?

So did I kill a monster? Or am I the monster now? you aren't just human anymore

I left the shovel and ran at back, got the kids in the car, and drove. I think I was the only one who noticed that He was standing outside the house watching us.

If it hadn't been for the kids there I would've...I don't know what I would've done.

Something stupid probably.

There was only one place I could think to bring an infected Kid and a baby (who may or may not be infected now) that wouldn't end in the death of more innocent (or is it ignorant?) people.

I took them to Hope. It's safe so that's good for them.

I'm a bit of an unwelcome guest I suppose, so I should leave soon.

No more getting involved after this. Can't keep doing this.

- Opal I don't even want to know anymore. I'm too afraid to remember.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Screw Virginia

Virginia sucks. I'm going to Alabama.
Well you see, I was at a gas station. It was around 11:30 at night, so you can imagine it was pretty dark outside. I was just about to pay for my sandwich when the cashier started staring off in the distance. He asked me if I recognized that gray car in the lot. I told him I didn't. He said that the car has been passing the gas station for the past hour.
Now, I have been quite used to strange things lately, and I saw this as a warning sign. Just as I told the man to leave, there was a crash. The door swung violently and hit a metal shelf full of snacks that fell to the floor. And then I saw the guy in the gray mask from earlier. Surely he was the one with the car.
The first thing he did was go for the cashier. I suppose he didn't want him to call the police, or maybe he wanted to scare me, because the next thing I knew the cashier had several stab wounds in his stomach. By then I was at the end of the store, trying to open a nearby window to escape. But he grabbed me and pulled me back.
Next thing I knew, I was lying on the floor in the middle of the cereal aisle (and let me tell you, waking up to the Lucky Charms mascot is not fun) with a lump on my head. He only came to scare me.
Once I became aware of what happened, I used the store's phone to call the police. I assumed the cashier was dead, but I felt sick with the thought of having to check.
And this is the part I am not proud of.
Right after I called the police, I open the cash register and took out all of the money. I feel really bad about it, but I'm starting to run out, and no money means no gas, which means I'm a sitting duck.
So here I am, on my way to Alabama. By the way, I apologize for not writing anything in a while. Until last night, nothing really happened to me. It was probably the most peaceful few days I've had since this trip started.
And now a message to Opal:
Take care of yourself. It is not your fault that people get hurt, it is his fault. You cannot go around with an uncared-for broken arm, or you're going to get even more hurt. Please don't blame yourself.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Black and Blue

I just knew that if I started to feel even the slightest bit more comfortable I was going to regret it.

Can you blame me though? Lately it seems that a lot of bloggers have hit a kind of plateau and have been doing a bit better. All this positive energy that's been going around definitely eased my nerves a little bit. Or maybe my lack of activity was just too boring.

Whatever the reason, the other night Ian payed me a visit.

It was relatively late, and while the library was still open it was empty except for me and one or two people at the front desk. I was sitting alone in the far corner of one section, not paying great attention to my surroundings, but I remember hearing footsteps. At first I thought it was another student who was up late as well, so I didn't look up. It wasn't until I felt someone right behind me that I spun around.

And there he was, grin and all. However he didn't look quite as smug as he did the last time I saw him. Aggy had knocked a few of his teeth out with the bat, and there was a nasty gash under his left eye.

"Hello darling, how was the vacation?"

It took all of a second for me to knock my chair in his direction and run towards the front door. Considering I was several flights of stairs away from the exit I'm impressed I made it as far as I did. I guess it really is true that you run faster when you're being fueled by adrenaline. But in case you haven't already guessed from the tone of this post I didn't manage to make it outside.

It wasn't because I didn't reach the door in time, oh no, I made it there fine. There was something waiting for me there when I got there.

Three bodies were lying in front of the door. They had all been on the staff at the library, I'd even made small talk with one of them after she'd helped me to find a book.

And here I thought I'd managed to harden myself to this kind of thing.

No. No. I don't want to become desensitized to death. But at the same time, I can't let it affect me so much. I couldn't move.

I skidded to a halt and fell backwards, I couldn't stop looking at it. All because of me.

How much blood is on my hands now?

I barely noticed when he came up behind me and lifted me to my feet by my shoulders.

"I swear," he sighed. I was vaguely aware that his hand was stroking my head. "You make this too easy sometimes,"

"Why?..." I asked.

It was an dumb question. I don't know what sort of answer I was expecting.

"Because I hate you Opal Jones," he snickered. "And because this is fun,"

"You sick bastard."

"Where was it Fitzgerald smashed your head in?"

Suddenly the stitches Doc sewed in were roughly yanked out of my head.

And that was the last thing I remember.

I woke up at the bottom of a well in New Jersey practically frozen to death.  Judging by my broken arm, and the fact I look like a black and blueberry, I must have been dropped in.

Eventually I was found and rescued by this teenager. She took me back to her house, and her family let spend the night.

 Lovely girl really, a little odd, but nice. And while she does bug me for a lot of details about myself, she hasn't yet asked exactly what I was doing at the bottom of a well, so I'm thankful for that.

And while her parents aren't around a lot, from what I've seen of them they seem nice.

What are you doing Opal? You're a walking time bomb.

I should be leaving. I should've left the minute I managed to walk more than a few feet without falling over. Unfortunately there's...a complication I suppose. I'll tell you about it later when I have a better idea of what's exactly is going on in this house.

I spent today cleaning my head up while no one was looking, and I've been trying to keep my arm still. When I get out of here I'll find a way to splint it.

I don't know what I'm going to do about the busted stitches.

Suppose it doesn't matter. It's not like I have to worry about it killing me.

- Opal

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


Lets not get too comfortable darling? We wouldn't want that now would we?

Monday, October 17, 2011


You can never really get enough of them can you?

True I've been getting a bit tired of the some of the dryer reads but I overall I've enjoyed it.

I also managed to salvage my love for 70's music, while in this glorious place. Queen is awesome.

I shouldn't be hanging here for too much longer though. I think there are some people who come here a lot who are starting to notice me, and I can't have that. I've been getting sicker too, so I know something is closing in on me.

Nemo mentioned the library system in New York City was one of the biggest library systems in the world. I might head there if things here get too dodgy. The only problem is that security is bound to be tighter in a place like that, so there won't be any sleeping inside.

Eh but who knows, maybe I'll get lucky and find something worth knowing there. 

Maybe I'll find a place that isn't freezing. This library is gets pretty cold at night.

Don't Stop Me Now,

- Opal

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

My New Residence

That's right, I've found a place to set up base for a little while. I'm very proud of it too.

I got some directions from a guy off the street and found a university library a little ways away from where I've been wandering around.

The place is easily the size of a football stadium or something, and twice as confusing and complicated. I spent last night here, and no one noticed me. The security isn't all the tight, (because honestly, who would break in to rob a public library?)

The other nice thing is that it's hours are pretty extended and I look like a student too, so no one is going to think twice about me while I'm reading. 

 I decided to pick up the research again, and it feels nice knowing I have something to do. Today I went browsing through a bunch of mythology texts but I didn't find anything that matched up. Tomorrow I might try and find something about Mental Viruses, that can spread through more than just genes. I don't know if such a thing exists or if there are any books on it but maybe I can connect some dots on my own. 

There's one thing that's been bugging me, and that's the fact that now that I becoming more active again, if that means that I'm going to start drawing more attention to myself again. If that's the case I might find myself library hopping.

I'll cross that bridge when I come to it though, right now I haven't been feeling too on-edge so I think I should be fine.

I left my phone charger at the House, so until I buy a new one I can't call Anne. She's been pretty quiet on the other end which is worrying me, especially with that post she had about the guy in the grey mask.

She's smart so I know she can avoid whatever is after her, but it makes me nervous.

I'll see if I can go get a charger soon. This place probably has a student union somewhere, and I'll find what I need there.

Talk to you soon,

- Opal

Saturday, October 8, 2011

There's More?

Well in case you didn't notice I've been pretty woebegone for the last week or so.

And the way I've been acting, especially after that thing I posted last night, is really unacceptable.

So yeah, I suck, feel free to throw rocks, I'm a bad person.

And I guess I owe an apology to Corwin for being a bit of a smart mouth as well.

So last night I got drunk, (smart move there Opal) and basically made an angry post and unleashed some of my baggage on the side walk before falling asleep on a park bench.

And when I wake up?

Why I'm in a jail cell. Because that's what happens when you attack someone at Burger King and then turn up in a park totally wasted.

Aren't I just a genius? 

So basically what happened was that my little episode got caught on a security camera, and somehow the police managed to I.D. me.

Here's some fun information. I'm a missing person back home in Kansas.

So yeah, these two guys dragged me in last night, and this morning they actually brought a doctor in to see me if you can believe it.

Now I hate bad stereotypes. And one of the bad stereotypes I simply cannot stand is that people in authority do not know what they're doing, because could any of us really say we'd do any better. So when I say this guy was a complete and total shrink in every incompetent sense of the word, know that I'm not saying it lightly.

First of all he didn't even really bother to talk to me. He asked the police about me and concluded I was schizophrenic just from what they said. The whole process took him like ten minutes. Of course the whole fact the police had undeniable evidence that I'd gone crazy and started attacking people with a shovel seems like a dead give away, but he still shouldn't jump to conclusions.

Which is another thing I found hilarious about this police department. No one even bothered to walk in and ask me what I was thinking, or explain exactly what was going on. I would've been snarky to them about it but I had a bad case of hangover.

So they decided I was off my rocker, and were making plans to send me to a facility or something and wait until they could actually give me a 'proper' diagnosis (doh, not like we can just do that to begin with,) and I was all set to get shipped to the cuckoo's nest.

And then the phone rang.

Someone answered it, and there was a lot of whispering and glaring, and I wasn't paying a lot of attention.

And then one of the officers got up, and just let me go.

Just like that. Didn't even have to sign anything.

So I grabbed my stuff and walked off and here I am.

And now I find out that Anne is being stalked, and that we've been hacked again.

Anne avoid that guy, alright? Avoid him like the plague. And keep safe.

No more crazy though, and no more drinking and getting depressed.

Don't have the energy to keep doing that. Just have to stay grounded.

Sorry again,

- Opal

Friday, October 7, 2011

"⊗, then, I see Queen Mab hath been with y⊗u.
She is the fairies’ midwife, and she c⊗mes
In shape n⊗ bigger than an agate-st⊗ne
⊗n the f⊗re-finger ⊗f an alderman,
Drawn with a team ⊗f little at⊗mies
Athwart men's n⊗ses as they lie asleep;
Her wag⊗n-sp⊗kes made ⊗f l⊗ng spinners’ legs,
The c⊗ver ⊗f the wings ⊗f grassh⊗ppers,
The traces ⊗f the smallest spider's web,
The c⊗llars ⊗f the m⊗⊗nshine's wat'ry beams,
Her whip ⊗f cricket's b⊗ne; the lash ⊗f film;
Her wagg⊗ner a small grey-c⊗ated gnat,
N⊗t half s⊗ big as a r⊗und little w⊗rm
Pricked fr⊗m the lazy finger ⊗f a maid:
Her chari⊗t is an empty hazelnut
Made by the j⊗iner squirrel ⊗r ⊗ld grub,
Time ⊗ut ⊗’ mind the fairies’ c⊗achmakers.
And in this state she gall⊗ps night by night
Thr⊗ugh l⊗vers’ brains, and then they dream ⊗f l⊗ve;
⊗’er c⊗urtiers’ knees, that dream ⊗n c⊗urt'sies straight,
⊗’er lawyers’ fingers, wh⊗ straight dream ⊗n fees,
⊗’er ladies ‘ lips, wh⊗ straight ⊗n kisses dream,
Which ⊗ft the angry Mab with blisters plagues,
Because their breaths with sweetmeats tainted are:
S⊗metime she gall⊗ps ⊗’er a c⊗urtier's n⊗se,
And then dreams he ⊗f smelling ⊗ut a suit;
And s⊗metime c⊗mes she with a tithe-pig's tail
Tickling a pars⊗n's n⊗se as a’ lies asleep,
Then dreams, he ⊗f an⊗ther benefice:
S⊗metime she driveth ⊗’er a s⊗ldier's neck,
And then dreams he ⊗f cutting f⊗reign thr⊗ats,
⊗f breaches, ambuscad⊗es, Spanish blades,
⊗f healths five-fath⊗m deep; and then an⊗n
Drums in his ear, at which he starts and wakes,
And being thus frighted swears a prayer ⊗r tw⊗
And sleeps again. This is that very Mab
That plaits the manes ⊗f h⊗rses in the night,
And bakes the elfl⊗cks in f⊗ul sluttish hairs,
Which ⊗nce untangled, much misf⊗rtune b⊗des:
This is the hag, when maids lie ⊗n their backs,
That presses them and learns them first t⊗ bear,
Making them w⊗men ⊗f g⊗⊗d carriage:
This is she—"

Dear, it's time to stop playing pretend now. 

Heading East...

I'm sick of the West. So I've decided to start heading East. Currently I'm in Wisconsin, But I'm thinking of going a bit more South, like Virginia or North Carolina.
I saw him again. He was just in the distance by some trees, so I just kept driving. But what's really bothering me is another proxy that's been following me, as well. He's different from the one with the red mask. His mask is gray, and he seems shorter in stature. Anyway, I haven't seen him in a few days, so I'm assuming he's either taking a break, or he's really bad at his job. Either way I'm grateful. But if he does come back, I think the shovel's still in the trunk.

Dreamers often Lie

Things must be bad if I'm resorting to Romeo and Juliet lines for titles.

Of course that's not completly true.

Gosh that's such a great line though. It looks nice up there on the title doesn't it?

Mercutio, Mercutio, you were so awesome. Why did Romeo havr to waltz in and get you stabbed? Huh? Would have much rather seen a play about you and Benvolio, or was that Balthazar?

Hell if I can remember.

So lets see...

I've ben really...was it melancholy that Corwin called me? Yeah that was it.

Ha Ha! That's such a lame word. Whenever I think about I always picture someone eating cantaloupe.

I'm not so much running anymore as I am just wandering around aimlessly. I've gotten pretty grungy in the last few days, so I'm starting to look the part of homeless person. Can't remember the last time I bothered to eat, though I do remember that I managed to keep it down...whatever it was. Maybe it was cantaloupe. Maybe that's why I'm so melon...choly.

Did you see what I did there? Aren't I clever?

No. You're all to busy losing your minds to care about me and my melon puns.

Not that I would really care abut me either at this point.

Corwin was telling me about how what I'm doing right now isn't helping anyone and all that jazz, but honestly what has helping done?

Made things worse.

So I don't know what he's talking about, because obviously everything wouldn't be so screwed right now if Opal Jones had just ignored that damn air conditioner and listened to her friend when she told her that it would be safer if she moved out. 

...What's wrong with me? Why am I sitting here typing about this? And why am I going to post it later? Why am I walking around parks and watching people go about their regular lives like some kind of sick masochist who keeps taunting herself with things she can't have?

Why aren't I screaming and banging my head against a wall? Why am I so damn indifferent all of a sudden?

I killed Aggy. I killed Aggy. I killed Aggy!

What's wrong with me?

Why am I not completely broken?



why is there so much snow?

to much water hast thou...

Crap. Now my knuckles are all soar.

That's why we don't punch the ground when we are upset and drunk.

Although I suppose it's better than yelling at it and attacking it with a shovel.

You know what hell really is?

It's not some place where people are chained up and set on fire for eternity, oh no.

Hell isn't full of flames or rings.

It's just empty, and cold.

A eternity of freezing. Growing so cold you can't feel anything anymore. But while your body freezes your mind stays intact. Imagine spending an infinite amount of time alone with nothing but yourself, and the mistakes you've made.

There's not a thing you can do except curl up and bare it because you had it coming. But it isn't enough. All you want is pain, and fire. You know you deserve it, and you want it so badly. But no, all you can do is just sit and endure the cold.

Because no one even cares enough to give you the punishment you deserve.

That's hell.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


I fell asleep.

Woke up just now. Have to type this quick. It's fading.

Had a memory in my sleep. Not a happy one.

That night, (or it was morning wasn't it,) the day Aggy died.

I had a dream about Spencer, and that place.

That whole night was mostly a blur, just snippets of images and feelings.

Me digging a hole,

Nemo on the ground, with the shovel spade to his neck.

My ears ringing with noise, my bones freezing.

My hand tightening around August's throat, and those sputtering noises he was making.

The crack I felt when Spencer finally got his hands on me. Blood, so much blood.

The way he looked at me, when he pulled me up.

I'm sure Spencer will be glad when he hears I've been seeing that in my nightmares.

But I remembered the East Wing. Bits and pieces.

It was so quiet.

Everything felt still.

Just nothingness.

Felt like bliss, and everything felt clear.

"...Life is torture..."


"The longer you live, the more corrupt and disgusting you become,"

Definitely me. But the words don't make sense.

"Not your choice to make,"

Spencer. His voice sounds wrong. It's so empty.

"I make it for me, because I'm a selfish coward. I don't deny what I am..."

How can I when even I'm not sure?

"Because you and and a cockroach..."

There was a slicing noise. Black blood.

"...Thought I'd escaped..."

Am I still bleeding? I can't feel anything.

"....Thought I was free..."

" You're never free from Him. His toy. Forever. For all time. We can't help you anymore."

So blurry, so dizzy. Should leave but I don't want to. I'm stalling.

"You don't exactly have a lot of time left,"

Spencer's face changes. He's grinning.

"When the time comes, I am going to enjoy watching you struggle for life as the light fades from your eyes. Who knows? Maybe Father will be there to keep you company...."

He's laughing.


"That's where we're different Spencer Fitzgerald,"

"...Just go."

I'm falling, the feeling is leaving.

I close the door. He's crying.

The world is spinning and I'm trying to do what he wants. I want to leave.

That's it. That's as far as it goes.

Couldn't let myself forget.

Have to start remembering. Can't forget.

"He who fights the monster should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. and if you gaze for long into an abyss..."



Sheesh...When did my brain get so screwed.

And that ladies and gentlemen, is the million dollar question.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011


Unless you count a few unpleasant comments on the blog, yesterday was a fairly normal day.

The weather was nice. No paranoid feelings, no nausea, not even a cough.

I didn't do a lot either. I just walked and thought.

I don't pity myself...and as wonderful as a freak comet hurtling downwards and crushing me would feel, I'm not going to sit here and talk about how much I want to die. If I went and died how pathetic would that be?

I'm going to live with my sins. I hope that's clear.

I can't keep pretending that I'm still the gutless waitress I was three months ago.

And I'm never going back to that train wreck of a person I've been as of late.

I should find a way to balance my scales.

For now I think it's best if I go away for a while, get my head straight.

Not sure about where I'm headed, but does it honestly matter?

Not sure when I'll be back either.

Anne, I can't be around you right now and it's not for my own good. I shouldn't have left in the first place. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

And typing it doesn't do any good.

 Keep yourself safe.

- Opal

Sunday, October 2, 2011

...Where do I even begin?

I'm back...and I'm not totally crazy anymore so there's that to be thankful for.

And I'm in another Burger King if you can believe it. Not the same one mind you.

...And right now I wish...

I don't know what I wish.

Wish I could reverse time? Wish I was someone else?

Forget it. I don't wish anything.

I do however think it's high time I account for all my idiotic decisions, and for all the idiotic crap I've been doing this past week.

And where do we start? That day in the bathroom.

The overall facts of that day are a bit fuzzy, I was throwing up and there was blood and suddenly Mr. Smug Mug shows up.

And he pulled me through the path.

And I saw something in there...or realized something I guess...

...Remember when I said that there were things about my past I wasn't sure about? Like how I got infected and how long I'd actually been infected?

I was right when I said it must've been years, and I can't remember a single one of those years.

Never even realized I'd forgotten. I forgot everything...

I don't remember what my parents names were, or where they were from, or what they looked like, or if they were even still alive. I couldn't remember where I'd gone to school or what I did for the last 18 years of my life before college.

My whole life was missing and I had never noticed. Never even realized, that everything was made out of tiny bits and pieces that were nothing.

He took me through that path and I remembered though...and god...

When I woke up I was in the park, and it was all gone. I knew it had been there, I was trying to find it but there was nothing. It felt so empty.

He was sitting there, with that big fat grin on his face. And I recognized him.

He was Ian. That guy I worked with at the Diner.

"It all starting to come together now?" he asked. "That's good cause I was starting to get bored. Thought you were going to stay a clueless little twerp forever."

I must of looked so stupid. I didn't say anything I just was lying on the ground in shock. My whole...everything had just been pulled out from under me.

I had no idea who I was anymore.

"Why can't I remember?" I asked him. "Where did my life go?"

"I'd ask your friend," he told me. He handed me the damn Hamlet book. "She's alive, and you can see her on the last day of the month. The exact location is written in that book.

The location was the remains of my apartment in Kansas.

"What happens that day?" I asked him.

"You die," he smirked. It was a lie. A big fat dirty lie.

And I fell for it hook, line and sinker...

"No..." I said.

"It's been set in stone," he told me. "Your friend has known for a while now..."

"If I died now then you couldn't kill me then!" I told him. I tried to bite my tongue off. I really did. But he kicked me in the gut, and pried my mouth open.

"Why do you think no one has killed you yet?" he asked me. "You're weak and defenseless and you piss off everyone within several yards. Yet here you are, better of than practically everyone else in your situation."

Played me like a flute he did.

He left, and Anne found me, and I spent the rest of the day rolling in my own paranoia. And then Nemo was attacked.

I thought, "What the hell? I'm dying in 5 days, and Smirky isn't going to let me die before then, so why not try to help?"

So I left.

Taking the Path wasn't my original plan. But I thought...I thought that if I did it myself maybe I could remember something else. Long story short, it didn't work, and you already know how I ended up.

So then this happened.

And while yes Nemo is a horrible person for acting like he was going to shoot me, I wasn't that mad OK? Mad enough to slap him across the face yes, but no not mad enough to storm out of the house to my death.

I left because for the same reason I got out of that car the first time I saw Him.

Because I wanted to know what Aggy was keeping from me. Because I wanted to have all the memories I'd lost back. Because all of a sudden, everything felt hopeless and the walls were screaming at me 24/7 and I just wanted it to stop.

Because I thought that maybe Ian (if that's even his name) was counting on the fact that I'm a gutless pacifist, and I wouldn't pull that gun on him despite all my threats. Because I had a crazy plan to take him out and save Aggy.

Because I was doing exactly what a good little pawn should.

My apartment was empty when I got there. No more burnt furniture, no more scorch marks, or dead cat nailed to the wall. It was empty and waiting for a new occupant.

Ian was also there waiting.

"So you decided to show," he smirked.

"Where is Aggy?" I asked him.

"She'll be here soon," he said.

That's when I pulled the gun.

"I warned you," I told him.

He just laughed at me.

"Oh Opal Jones..." he said. "You are always so fun to toy with. You don't even realize."

I wasn't going to hear him out. I started to pull the trigger.

And then he was behind me, his arm around my neck. The gun knocked out of my hand.

"It's so funny how you keep thinking you have any say in how this turns out."

I think it's kind of funny too. For different reasons though, of course.

He turned me around so we were face to face.

"And it's funny how you keep trying to convince yourself that you can in fact keep living after this."

I spat in his eye, and found myself getting smacked across the face.

"Silly little Opal Jones..." he sighed wiping his face off. "Why is you runners never have a sense of class huh? It's always yelling and fighting with you, you never want to listen to a word His followers have to say."

"Well then say it!" I snapped. "I'm all ears..."

"No," he sighed. "No the dramatic tone is all gone. I'll have to wait for a more opportune moment." He shoved me into the ground and pulled me up by my hair.

"Just kill me then..." I told him.

"It's not even September 30th yet," he pouted. "We still have five minutes and Agatha isn't even here ye-"

And a baseball bat collided with his head, knocking him to ground.

"What was that you were saying?"

Aggy was standing in the doorway.

She hit him with the bat five or six more times. There was blood everywhere.

"Little whore..." he said.

She hit him again. "I've about had my fill of you, you bastard," she muttered.

Hit him again.

He was smiling the whole time.

"Only a minute til the last day of the month," he said, when she was coming up for another blow.

I was on the ground watching in shock as this happened. Just like a good little pawn.

"To bad you won't get to see it." Aggy brought the bat up for a final blow.

He opened the path.

And I remembered something I don't remember now.

And I shot Aggy.

Midnight on the dot.

I didn't see what happened to Ian. I'm assuming he escaped.

I just dropped the gun, and tried to catch Aggy before she fell.

"Aggy? Aggy?"

I don't need to say the rest do I?

She died with her eyes open. She was staring at me.

All this time, he wanted me to kill her. And I fell right into his hands.

I tried to bury her, but I didn't have the shovel. It was at the House.

I pulled her through the path and made it back.

Nemo was the one who found me out in the yard digging up a grave like a mad woman.

He knocked me out and took me back inside. I don't know what happened to Aggy's body.

When I woke up, this happened.

...Tried to kill August. Spencer cracked my head open and let me bleed out in his secret wing.

Can barely remember what happened.

He wasn't himself though.

Should've died. No I should've been gutted alive. Probably wouldn't even have complained.

He told me to leave, said I was never welcome back to the House.

Doc carried me to the basement and stitched me up, (I probably scared her half to death with all the crap that I must have been saying. I need to learn to shut up.)

 And in the morning I hitched a ride with Nemo to the outskirts of Vermont, (Tied up...)

...So here I am again.

Don't know where to go now. Can't go find Anne, can't stay here.

...I killed Aggy. I killed one of my only friends and I don't know why.

Tried to kill August. August...

What kind of person am I?

 That's right I don't know anymore.


...The walls aren't talking anymore.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Slender Man Strikes Again!

And I thought he wouldn't come after me. Guess I was being hopeful.
So there I was, at the Starbucks parking lot (free wifi!) when I saw something move in the trees. Being the paranoid person I am, I looked just to make sure he wasn't there, but of course, he was. But I didn't do something stupid like get out of the car to get a closer look. I slammed my foot on the pedal and got out of there as quickly as possible. And after about an hour of driving 80 miles per hour, I finally stopped at a gas station and bought some chocolate.
So it looks like I'm getting stalked, too. I thought I would feel different, but it pretty much feels the same. I suppose because I never felt like I wasn't stalked by him in the first place.
Well, I'm tired. Good-night.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

god no

Aggy is dead. Oh God, Aggy is dead.










I hear it. I hear it Aggy. It isn't walls. You knew because I knew.




Have to calm down. Have to type.

Think about the House.  Think about the House.

Have to get to the House.




of course im opal.

but whos opal?

opal wouldnt do this

opal would

opal wouldn't have gone through the path

opal would

opal knows who she is

no she doesnt

opal opal opal opal opal opal opal opal opal * opal opal opal opal 
opal opal opal opal opal opal opal opal opal opal opal opal opal opal 
opal opal opal opal opal opal opal opal opal opal opal opal


the world just changed.

there's one less person in it.

This Sucks

Figured I should state the obvious. What with Opal gone, things have been weird.
First of all, the guy in the red mask stopped following me (yay!) I suppose it's because he's after Opal, not me. Still, it's been so quite it's becoming eerie.

Let's pretend everything's going to be fine for a second and look at the facts.

1. For whatever reason, Opal's gone off on her own. Based on her wording, it appears that she thinks she can solve all of his on her own.
2. She keeps referring herself as Ophelia, supposedly from Hamlet. Now, as we all know, Ophelia went crazy near the end, but this is causing bad thoughts, so let's stop there.
3. She's counting down. If you look in her tags, it says "Ophelia has ____ days to save the world." Yesterday, it was one day, so whatever it is will happen today.
4. I'm sure that it has come to your attention that Opal is no longer considered mentally stable. Now, according to my high school psychology class, mental illnesses can derive from three things: genes, environment, and experience. I'm assuming the majority of her case is from experience, but I suppose it could be some of all three. Of course I'm not an expert, and I don't know everything about her. She never really did talk about her childhood.
5. Opal must have seen some cop shows, because she's awfully hard to find. No registered car, no credit card, and she must have either turned off her phone or got a new one, because whenever I call her, it leads straight to voicemail. This way, the police can't track her calls, which makes it difficult to find her.
That's about everything my brain can process at the moment, which isn't really much. I know that I've had so much time to think about it, but it feels as though I've been busy. Perhaps it's because my mind is going completely numb. For the most part, all I can hear in my head is, "Just keep going, Anne. Keep moving forward." Rarely have I had an actual thought come across my brain.
I even forgot about this blog for a while. It didn't even cross my mind, probably because Opal usually posted. I wasn't too involved with it until recently.
And of course, there's the paranoia. Now, I have yet to spot an actual sighting of Mr. Slendy and Mr. Masky, but I keep thinking that I do. Every bump, every figure at night, or every shadow in the trees, it looks like him. I know it isn't, but I can't help but look just to be sure. I suppose that's how he tortures people
This can't be good. People who tend to think about him a lot start to be followed by him, and I already have to worry about Opal. I don't have time to worry about myself.
Anyway, I can't promise how often I'll update, but I will try.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011


I'm leaving. I said I couldn't stay. ⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,
Maybe I'll See You Around....⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,⊗phelia,

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Well I Guess It's Time I Make With The Explanations...

Some of them at least.

There's still stuff I think I'd rather leave to my self at the moment. I don't know what to make of it, and I don't want to think about it all.

So I'm going to start at the middle of this enchanting story.

The Story of How Opal Jones Got Kicked Out Of A Burger King After Having A Psychotic Episode

The night I disappeared I did something I probably shouldn't have. To be fair the situation was a bit desperate but again, I am positive I wasn't thinking straight at the time.

Damage is done now anyway, and there are probably at least four people who want to clobber me with a brick.

I had my reasons.

So this all ended with me in a Burger King in Vermont waiting for Spencer Fitzgerald to come and get me.

And this is where things start to take a turn for the weirder.

"So why are you here?"

Have you ever had a wall start talking to you? I'm amazed I took it as well as I did at the time. Granted it wasn't really talking, but it felt very real in my twisted up brain.

I stopped and looked around to see if anyone else was hearing this. But the whole place was empty, there was no one there. Everyone who had been there a second ago had just vanished.

"I asked you a question," said the wall. "Can't you hear me?"

"You're a wall, you're not supposed to talk," I told it.

"Well it seems like nowadays everyone is doing things they aren't supposed to," said the wall.

"Yeah, but a talking wall goes against the laws of physics," I said giving it a glare. "You can't think, and you can't talk."

"Of course I can't," said the wall. "You're just crazy, haven't you realized that by now? You're crazy Opal."

"I know I am," I said. "I don't need you reminding me."

"Why don't you stop arguing for a moment and just answer the question?" it asked.

"I'm here because there's something important I need to tell my friend." I told the wall. "And I got a little confused in the getting here part."

"Really?" said the wall. "You sure you aren't running away?"

"I'm not running away." I told it. "I had to leave."

"You left your friend all alone," said the wall. "She could die because of you."

"She could die if I stayed." I exclaimed. "Me being there wasn't doing her any favors."

"Neither is you being here."

"Shut up." I told the wall.

"Anne wouldn't be in this mess, if it weren't for you. Neither would Aggy."

"Shut up!"

"Opal, don't you get it? Everything that has happened is your fault. That's why you're running away. You want to help but you can't. You'll just make things worse for yourself and everyone involved."

"Shut up!" I screamed. 

"Don't be so upset," said the wall. "It'll only last a little longer, when you die it'll be better for everyone."

"But I don't want to die," I said. "Not like this. Not without doing something."

"Why shouldn't you die Opal? Why do you deserve to live?"

The whole room was freezing, and I was coughing more than ever. All of the walls were suddenly screaming things at me. The room was spinning.

"Why do you keep trying when all you do is cause burdens for others? Why can't you just be grateful you had your chance at life and this is how it's going to end?"

"Shut up!" I screamed, I grabbed the shovel from where I'd set it next to me and raised it.

"Look at you Opal. Can't you even answer a simple question?"

Then I smashed a hole in that wall...

...And suddenly a pair of arms grabbed me.

I was back in reality. People were screaming, and a man was on the phone calling the police. There was still a hole in the wall.

I hit someone in the chest with the shovel and knocked him over, and I ran. I kept running until I managed to duck into an alley.

And that wasn't even the low point of my day...

When Spencer found me, he was covered in blood, and angry for reasons I don't blame him for. He was sick, and he kept vomiting black stuff.

He killed a proxy while coming to get me. Because of me that person is dead.

Spencer didn't leave a lot to look at, but I could tell whoever it was hadn't been much older than me.

What gives me the right to live while that person dies?

I'm at the House, the place the couriers live. If you don't know what that is go read the blog, I keep posting links to it.

When I got in August was very happy to see me, which felt terrible considering all of the trouble I was causing. He gave me the big grand tour and made dinner and all I could do was follow along and wish I could fall asleep.

Long story short, I wound up puking all of that great dinner up and wandering around until I just passed out on the floor.

Spencer had to fix that too.

Nemo's here but he's avoiding me like the plague, (unless you count him talking me into stealing the kitchen from August so he could get his pancakes, which by the way I apologize for)

So why am I here?

I thought I knew. But now I realize it's for a completely different reason.

I'm here because I want to change my own fate...and I'm endangering everyone because of it.

I don't think I'm going to stay long.

The walls keep whispering to me, and they keep saying the same thing.

...I'm starting to wish I 'could' die.

But of course some things are certain.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Hey Anne.

Guess what?

I'm not Dead.

I should be, but I'm not. Although I probably have pissed a few people off in the last 24 hours. The shovel is still in the trunk if you didn't notice. I got a new cheap one.

I know I have like a million missed calls from you, but I can't really come to the phone at the moment.

I'm going to be fine though. And I had my reasons for doing what I did.

I don't regret my decision either.

Tomorrow I'll probably be awake enough to explain everything but for now I just want to go to bed.

Keep safe. You should be fine for the moment. It's not you that creep is after.

I'll be back soon.

- Opal

Sunday, September 25, 2011


One of the things I live by is that nothing is ever certain.

Things can never be certain, otherwise there is no faith, and no hope.

Anne, when you read this, I'm not going to be with you anymore. I'm going away. Hopefully I'll be coming back very soon, but for now I there's somewhere I need to go.

Corwin, you can always quit a game if you want, but you and I aren't those kinds of people are we? If we do not play by the rules than we cannot achieve victory, and we cannot accept and learn from defeat.
I should be able to post again soonish. For now I think I should be vague with my details.

I'm sorry.  Especially to you Anne. I don't want to leave you here, I really don't. But this isn't the last you're going to hear from me, I promise.

And if you, you smirking ugly bastard, are indeed reading this, which I am "certain" that you are.

Know this. I am not afraid of you, and I am not afraid of the one that stands behind you.

And if you are so "certain," that I will not pull a gun on you to protect the people I care about, like you say you are.

Then you are dead wrong.

...You and I both...

Now I think it's time I put some of my research to use.

See Ya On The Flip-Side

- Opal

Saturday, September 24, 2011

We Really Need a Break

Opal needs one more than I do, so I really shouldn't be complaining.
A lot has happened lately. It's hard to sum up, so I'll just tell you.
The day started off normally. We were eating breakfast, and Opal suggested we go to the library. I was originally against it, since Opal has been doing nothing but research, but I agreed since our car was getting pretty claustrophobic. The trash we accumulated was starting to pay rent. On the way to the library, Opal spotted the guy in the red mask again. But Opal figured he wouldn't follow us in a public library.
Once we got inside, Opal ran off like a little kid in the candy store.
"We better look in the mythology and psychology sections. Oh, and if you see anything about a fourth dimension or Australia, pick it up."
I raised my eyebrows at her eccentric combination, but did as she said.
Doing this felt weird. It felt as though we were back in college, on one of our study dates the day before exams. And then I remembered where we were, and what we were doing. Never again will I complain about something silly such as exams. It will be a luxury to have such a thing.
Then near noonish I think, things started to go downhill.
Opal started coughing uncontrollably. I asked if she needed some cough syrup, but she insisted she was fine.
"We're going to run out if I keep taking it," she said. "But you aren't feeling well, either, are you?"
She was right. I've been getting headaches from time to time, which makes it really hard to think. At first I thought they were my usual headaches I get from stress (and I have a right to be stressed) but these are different. They come and go very quickly, and are sometimes accompanied with loss of vision (it only lasts a few seconds).
We were talking, and suddenly Opal said she felt sick. She ran to the bathroom, promising it will only be a second.
I waited a few minutes, until a few turned into thirty. When I walked in the bathroom to check on her, Opal was gone. There was a pool of blood all over the sink.
I almost started to get sick myself.
"Opal?" No response.
I ran out as quickly as possible, grabbing Opal's notes on the way to the car. As soon as I got in and locked the door, my phone rang. The caller ID said it was Opal. But the person on the other line was not Opal.
"He dropped her off at a nearby park," said the voice. It's masculine tone contrasted Opal's high, feminine one.
"Who is this?" I asked. My hand was shaking.
"Not anyone concerned with your well-being," the man replied smoothly.
"You're the guy in the red mask," I said. "You've been following us."
"Well, aren't you smart? Should I give you a gold star?" the man sneered.
"Is she okay?" I demanded.
"She's been better," replied the man.
"You better be gone by the time I get there," I threatened.
The man laughed and hung up.
It was easy to find her. She was doubled over a tree, with a book in her hand.
I asked what happened, and she told me that she just threw up and passed out. And when I asked her about the book, she mumbled something about Hamlet and Elmer Fudd.
"Let's go," I said.
"...I don't feel right" Opal said.
"What do you mean?"
"Ever since this coughing started I've been feeling really off. It's not that I'm sick or anything. It just feels wrong."
"He isn't getting to your head, is he?"
Opal insisted that he isn't.
Things have settled down now. Opal's staring out the window. I told her that she should probably not get on the computer tonight. I want her to get her mind off of this for a little while. If that's even possible.
But I suppose that's all for now. I have informed you what you need to know.

Until the next time.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Hack, Hack...

May I be the first to say that the physical aspects of Slender Sickness really aggravate me. I hate coughing up my spleen every other ten minutes. It makes these things so much harder to write. I need some cough pills or something.

Alright, so I've been trying to organize everything I know about Slender Man. That being everything I've seen and done in the course of this blog.

I'm even managed to break in my new journal with all my notes so hurray for me.

So far there are a few things that have been bothering me.

The first is how I got infected.

My Kindergarten drawings basically say that I've been infected for a while. But why on earth would Slender Man wait fifteen years to come after me? Probably cause he didn't think I was worth the trouble. And even though I know that I've probably had this for a while, that still doesn't explain how I was infected.

The second thing is how Aggy got infected, and what it is she was doing that year after she moved out. She was doing something all that time, and I'm almost positive those videos she had were Slender related some how. If there was anyone who knew the answer to question number one I'm assuming it was her. However by the way things look right now I'm probably going to have to figure this out on my own.

And the last thing that's been eating at me is how this hacker keeps getting into my account. I found out yesterday from Nemo that my friend in the red mask is buddy-buddy with the hacker and he's been getting info out of my email. Calls himself the Amused Onlooker. (The name itself makes me want to punch him.)

But the only way this hacker could've possibly guessed my password is if he could read minds because my password isn't even a word. Yet somehow he keeps managing to break in and write some crap about being invisible or demons on my blog, gives the stalker a handout of my recent activity and goes on his merry way.

God I feel like I'm living in a fish bowl. Don't even know why these jokers are bothering with this whole routine. It's not scary it's just annoying, and the info on my blog isn't even useful. Most of it is me running around asking people questions about crap I don't understand.

For the meantime though, I'm going to ask you don't email me stuff you don't want proxies knowing because it seems like my stuff is no longer safe.

Ironically, I had a very long talk with Nemo last night. He can tell you the details, if you really want to know.

I'm also looking up how to make smoke bombs now, to go along with my shovel. Sorry Nemo, no fire bombs.

North Dakato is very pretty, and Anne came out with the brilliant idea of hiding out in Hospital parking garages. They're huge, it's not weird for vehicles to be there for long periods of time, and if things go haywire we can just go inside and get patched right up.

So there's my update for today.

Things have been going south for a lot of people lately, especially over with the couriers. Try to stay safe people, and don't push yourself farther than you can go.

If anyone is in need of a shovel you know who to call.

- Opal

Sunday, September 18, 2011

...Tonight was...


I've been sort of going over my blog, and there's somethings in here that are odd, that I wasn't thinking about before.

I got hacked again.

And red mask guy showed up again.

It was just like last time, he just sat there watching us from the other side of the parking lot we were in. I got the shovel and waved it at him, and he went away, and after that we moved again. He's biding his time.

We've stopped in South Dakota for the night but we're right next to the border. Once we get there we'll find a safe town and go from there.

no one ever listens

can you hear the

i hear it but i don't

can you hear the

im sure you could if you try hard enough. everyone can hear them 

can you hear the

listen. listen to the noise youve been ignoring.  open your ears and 
let it touch you.

can you hear the

it's so beautiful. very few understand how gorgeous it sounds.

can you hear the

HE can't hear it. HE'S a fool. NOONE LISTENS ANYMORE!!!

can you hear the

that wonderful perfect noise.

i love and hate it. i need it. it reminds me of what i exist to do.

there are sages

there are mystics

there are hermits

there are guardians

there are warriors

there are heroes

there are monsters

but then they are demons, demons who stamp out the rats before they 
spread the plague.

can you hear the

i'm so grateful to be alive.

can you hear

i'm laughing

can you

it's a joke only i know.


why did the rabbit cross the road

can you hear the

to get to the better side.

can you hear it?



Saturday, September 17, 2011

Moving Right Along...

It's that time of the week again! Time to play, where in America are Anne and Opal now.

We're in Wyoming actually, which was a fun drive, (By fun I mean long and nerve-wracking.) But were on our way up North.

Anne and I did a little research on which state would be the best to maybe stick around in for a bit, and we actually came up with North Dakota. Weird right? But here's the really funny thing about the state.

It's ranked as one of the happiest and healthiest states in America, and it has the least ammount of tree's in any American state.

How's that for an odd coincidence?

So yeah, sounded safe. Although I'm sure something's going to prove me wrong.

Anne and I have also been updating our assets.

We went out and bought some warmer clothes, and a few groceries. We also bought a shovel! Which is an awesome weapon! Much better than my kitchen knife. The shovel will do more damage in the long run.  Plus it's blunt, so if it really does come down to violence we can just knock out our little friends and head for the hills. Safe and effective!

Which is more than I can say for the little package Corwin sent me.

I'm still trying to decide what I should do with the contents. This is what was inside;

- A gun
- Bullets for said gun
-A hand mirror with some playing cards placed behind the glass.
-A flashlight
-A lucky rabbit's foot that was dyed green, along with the recipes for Rabbit Soup and Rabbit Pie.
-A journal and a ballpoint pen.
-And twenty canandian dollars.

I have an urge to send this guy tickets to a rave cinema along with one of those annoying toy parrots, just to give him a taste of his own medicine, but of course that would be a waste.

August and Steele came by two days ago to drop all this stuff off. They didn't look too worse for the wear, which is good, but both of them seemed...I don't know. I'm sure they both have reasons to be a bit stressed right now, besides the usual reasons of course. They do have a serial killer living in their house afterall.

And as for the package well, I should probably put some of it to use. The journal and the flash light could come in handy. I, however, am NOT loading the gun. That's not a weapon I feel comfortable even touching, let alone owning. Anne says we might as well keep it, in the event we find ourselves in a worse case scenario. I for one will be burrying it in the glove compartment. I have my shovel, and that's all I need.

That's another bright side to a shovel, when you use it, there's a much smaller chance you're going to aim wrong and wind up shooting yourself in the ass. Which is totally something I'd do.

The mirror and the cards confused me. I get the whole Alice in Wonderland aspect and that Aggy is the LookingGlass, blah blah blah, but it felt a bit different than the lucky rabbit foot. Like there was some deeper message I should've gotten from it. Maybe it was the fact that this pun was aimed at Aggy that it bothered me...

Whatever...I'm sure Corwin will pop up in the comments box to explain all of his puns to me with more puns.

Dr. Rivers emailed me. Remember the guy Steele was escorting?
Talking to him was bizzarely close to talking with Aggy back before all this started.
We went back and forth for a bit about ideas and theories, and the guy really knows his stuff. Right now it looks like he's been looking into a lot of supernatural events and looking for ties to Mr. Kittykins. I've been going through old myths I've read before and trying to find connections myself.

The Hekatonkheires were a myth that I thought looked promising. I had a profesor who said the reason they had a hundred hands was because their appearance was inspired by early interpretations of trees, of course it never really said anything about them stalking people or driving them nuts. Just that they got thrown in to Hades until they helped defeat the Titans. I also considered Gorgons but that would be silly seeing as how I'm not a statue.

There was also an Australian myth I read once, but it was a long time ago. It was a picture book I owned, and I barely remember what it was about, but there were these monsters who lived in a forest and stole children. One of them was very tall I remember, and I used to have bad dreams about it.

How did I forget that? It never occurred to me until just now. I used to have nightmares about that book.

Maybe that's what those drawings were...

What don't I remember from when I was little? It feels like there's a lot.

Anne's calling me, I gotta go.

Stay safe,

- Opal