Dreamers often Lie

Things must be bad if I'm resorting to Romeo and Juliet lines for titles.

Of course that's not completly true.

Gosh that's such a great line though. It looks nice up there on the title doesn't it?

Mercutio, Mercutio, you were so awesome. Why did Romeo havr to waltz in and get you stabbed? Huh? Would have much rather seen a play about you and Benvolio, or was that Balthazar?

Hell if I can remember.

So lets see...

I've ben really...was it melancholy that Corwin called me? Yeah that was it.

Ha Ha! That's such a lame word. Whenever I think about I always picture someone eating cantaloupe.

I'm not so much running anymore as I am just wandering around aimlessly. I've gotten pretty grungy in the last few days, so I'm starting to look the part of homeless person. Can't remember the last time I bothered to eat, though I do remember that I managed to keep it down...whatever it was. Maybe it was cantaloupe. Maybe that's why I'm so melon...choly.

Did you see what I did there? Aren't I clever?

No. You're all to busy losing your minds to care about me and my melon puns.

Not that I would really care abut me either at this point.

Corwin was telling me about how what I'm doing right now isn't helping anyone and all that jazz, but honestly what has helping done?

Made things worse.

So I don't know what he's talking about, because obviously everything wouldn't be so screwed right now if Opal Jones had just ignored that damn air conditioner and listened to her friend when she told her that it would be safer if she moved out. 


...What's wrong with me? Why am I sitting here typing about this? And why am I going to post it later? Why am I walking around parks and watching people go about their regular lives like some kind of sick masochist who keeps taunting herself with things she can't have?

Why aren't I screaming and banging my head against a wall? Why am I so damn indifferent all of a sudden?

I killed Aggy. I killed Aggy. I killed Aggy!

What's wrong with me?

Why am I not completely broken?

I KILLED HER!!! I KILLED HER I KILLED HER AND THERE ISN'T ANYTHING LEFT!!

WHY CAN'T I JUST BURN!? WHY DO I HAVE TO JUST FREEZE OVER!?

why is there so much snow?

to much water hast thou...



Crap. Now my knuckles are all soar.

That's why we don't punch the ground when we are upset and drunk.

Although I suppose it's better than yelling at it and attacking it with a shovel.


You know what hell really is?

It's not some place where people are chained up and set on fire for eternity, oh no.

Hell isn't full of flames or rings.

It's just empty, and cold.

A eternity of freezing. Growing so cold you can't feel anything anymore. But while your body freezes your mind stays intact. Imagine spending an infinite amount of time alone with nothing but yourself, and the mistakes you've made.

There's not a thing you can do except curl up and bare it because you had it coming. But it isn't enough. All you want is pain, and fire. You know you deserve it, and you want it so badly. But no, all you can do is just sit and endure the cold.

Because no one even cares enough to give you the punishment you deserve.

That's hell.