I shouldn't have read a proxy blog, I shouldn't have, but she was following my blog and I was curious. I read through it the other day, and even had a little argument with her over the Enuma Elish, or whatever it was called. It was some myth I'd already read back in Freshman year, and she was like, "God is evil, and we're awesome," and I was like "that's crap, you're crazy," and she was like, "you're mean," and I was like, "I know." Petty argument, went on forever, won't bore you with the details.
But I read through her blog, and most of it was just weird stuff about her and her, "siblings," I guess, (although I don't think siblings generally attack each other with battery acid,) and how they'd be psycho's and she wouldn't notice since it was for the greater good or something. And then I read one of her later posts. A post about some torture she participated in involving some twins. I'll post a link but viewer discretion is advised.
God I can't believe this happened! I don't want to believe this happened. But it did! I read the post and threw up half way through. I haven't even been able to think about eating, because this is all I can picture. It also opened my tender mind up to a brand new nightmare. Looks like getting strangled in a forest just wasn't terrifying enough, so last night I dreamt I was locked in a cage with a monster. It's gory, disgusting, and generally unpleasant so let's not talk about that.
It makes me furious, but it terrifies me, because I know that no rational word that comes out of my mouth will change anything. Yet I keep on arguing anyway. I guess that makes me persistent, or maybe stupid. I've been called both.
If the twin, Melissa, ever reads this blog, Proxy or not, I have never felt more sympathy and remorse for any other person on earth. All I can tell you is how sorry I am...
Crap I'm getting sick again, let's talk about something else shall we?
Aggy's been in and out. She'll wake up for a little while and we'll give her some water, and then she'll fall back asleep. Anne and I have been taking shifts, one of us will drive while the other stays in back and watches her.
And Nemo's back in the world of the living for however long, which fills me with much joy. I'm happy you are (arguably) sane again, because I enjoy the company as well. A lot more than proxy company anyway...
We made it to Arizona no sweat, and yesterday we drove to the grand canyon. It's one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. To think something could be that big. I took a picture, like the little tourist I am.
I wonder if Slendy would survive a fall from there? Probably.
I think I'm a fan of running. It's not so bad. Granted I have a car which is always nice, but I think I'm happier running than if I'd wallowed in the remains of that burned apartment. And even if it wasn't burned, I like this.
I've seen more world than I have in my entire life. If this is how the last days of my life get spent, well it could be worse.
...But if I end up in a cage surrounded by proxies I'm biting my own tongue off. Those are memories I don't want.
I'm not thinking about that, I'm not thinking about that...
Anne told me a story today. It was about when she was little and she came up here with her family. She said her dad and her wrote their names on a leaf and tossed it over the edge. Her mom had been mad at them since you aren't supposed to throw anything over, but she and her dad both agreed it had been worth it.
After the day we got attacked the first thing Anne did was start worrying about her family. She called them and said that she was running off to Mexico because the mob was after her. She said something about the police being involved, and that the whole family should relocate to somewhere safe. I heard about this right after it happened, so I can really only imagine how that conversation went.
If they change their identities, she'll never find them again. But He won't know where to find them either, so long as she doesn't know.
I've heard her crying really late sometimes. I don't think she's a fan of the running.
I wish there was something I could've done before all this started. She didn't deserve to get involved.
We can't do anything about it now though, her families going to be safe, so that's all that matters. It's better than having them end up dead or proxies or in the same situation we're in now.
The two of us sent our own little leaf floating down the canyon. This is it right here.
We gotta keep trucking, if we let this all catch up to us it'll only get worse. Right now we have to concentrate on getting Aggy better, and keeping safe.
For the rest of our lives...
- Opal
Wasn't dead Opal. Just crazy.
ReplyDeleteJust an expression, and thankfully that's all it was.
ReplyDeleteIncidentally, eat! And make sure to drink lots of water. Deserts are annoying like that.
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna try. Water should be fine, but I think food's going to be a bit more difficult. I'll probably drive to a store and get some fruit and eat that. It's just when 90% of what you eat you buy at a drivethrough, and 90% of everything you eat at a drivethrough is a meat product...well eating hasn't been fun after I read that.
ReplyDeleteThere are many things to eat in the desert, though you should refrain from eating any cacti or you might start hallucinating from more than just heat and dehydration. Lizards and birds are edible, and even scorpions if you remove their stingers.
ReplyDeleteBeyond pizza, I won't touch take out. There's so many fillers and preservatives in it, I don't think it technically qualifies as food beyond the fact you put it in your mouth and chew.
I'm not that far from civilization so finding food shouldn't be a problem, it's the keeping it down part I'm not doing so great at.
ReplyDeleteThough I guess the stuff about preservatives is true, wonder if they have an organic grocery store or something like a Whole Foods down here. Though that stuff is pretty expensive.
Petty arguments is right. You're the one who dragged things out. To what end? You argued for the sake of arguing, not for understanding. Not to discuss or debate. And you said I can't see your point of view. I think Saint pointed out quite well that Family is just as important to us as it is to you. The only difference is, we fight for our kin. You and those like you run away.
ReplyDeleteBTW, you are quite mistaken about us not being able to touch them. The question is not can we, but will we. Does it benefit us in any way? Not really since we couldn't use it against you, but we could convert them... hollow them out if we so choose and send them after you.
Something to think about... I'm not in any way involved with your hunters. They could be planning anything.
Oh look, a paper tiger.
ReplyDeleteI understand you. As far as you're concerned you're doing the right thing. That's all that matters I guess.
ReplyDeleteYou don't understand me at all. Because for a person who loves their family so much, I don't understand why you would sit here dangling my friends family in front of her face, when she hasn't done a thing to you.
What was that you were saying about not being malicious. Get the log out of your own eye, and leave Anne alone.
Look, I was simply pointing out a fact. Running accomplishes nothing. You are accomplishing nothing, not by running and even less by picking fights with people like me. In fact, you just make yourself a bigger target. When you run, we shrug and try to figure out ways to antagonize you. When you fight, we're more inclined to bring you home and cultivate that spirit. We WANT you to fight because we WANT fighters. We NEED fighters. Runners? Who wants runners? They're cowards who won't even stay and defend what's theirs. You're a fighter; your friend is not. So your hunters will figure out a way to provoke her, and you.
ReplyDeleteThink about it. There's no escape. It's just a matter of time. The only way out is in.
I'll die first. Did that not sink in the first time I said it?
ReplyDeleteI'm running with my tail between my legs and damn am I proud of it.
Just ignore the paper Tiger Opal. It makes things easier in the long run.
ReplyDeleteonly a matter of time
ReplyDeleteno escape
chaos. yes.
i'm running
damn am i proud of it.
hello jade rabbit.
Hello...again.
ReplyDelete