Well I Guess It's Time I Make With The Explanations...

Some of them at least.

There's still stuff I think I'd rather leave to my self at the moment. I don't know what to make of it, and I don't want to think about it all.

So I'm going to start at the middle of this enchanting story.


The Story of How Opal Jones Got Kicked Out Of A Burger King After Having A Psychotic Episode

The night I disappeared I did something I probably shouldn't have. To be fair the situation was a bit desperate but again, I am positive I wasn't thinking straight at the time.

Damage is done now anyway, and there are probably at least four people who want to clobber me with a brick.

I had my reasons.

So this all ended with me in a Burger King in Vermont waiting for Spencer Fitzgerald to come and get me.

And this is where things start to take a turn for the weirder.


"So why are you here?"

Have you ever had a wall start talking to you? I'm amazed I took it as well as I did at the time. Granted it wasn't really talking, but it felt very real in my twisted up brain.

I stopped and looked around to see if anyone else was hearing this. But the whole place was empty, there was no one there. Everyone who had been there a second ago had just vanished.

"I asked you a question," said the wall. "Can't you hear me?"

"You're a wall, you're not supposed to talk," I told it.

"Well it seems like nowadays everyone is doing things they aren't supposed to," said the wall.

"Yeah, but a talking wall goes against the laws of physics," I said giving it a glare. "You can't think, and you can't talk."

"Of course I can't," said the wall. "You're just crazy, haven't you realized that by now? You're crazy Opal."

"I know I am," I said. "I don't need you reminding me."

"Why don't you stop arguing for a moment and just answer the question?" it asked.

"I'm here because there's something important I need to tell my friend." I told the wall. "And I got a little confused in the getting here part."

"Really?" said the wall. "You sure you aren't running away?"

"I'm not running away." I told it. "I had to leave."

"You left your friend all alone," said the wall. "She could die because of you."

"She could die if I stayed." I exclaimed. "Me being there wasn't doing her any favors."

"Neither is you being here."

"Shut up." I told the wall.

"Anne wouldn't be in this mess, if it weren't for you. Neither would Aggy."

"Shut up!"


"Opal, don't you get it? Everything that has happened is your fault. That's why you're running away. You want to help but you can't. You'll just make things worse for yourself and everyone involved."

"Shut up!" I screamed. 

"Don't be so upset," said the wall. "It'll only last a little longer, when you die it'll be better for everyone."

"But I don't want to die," I said. "Not like this. Not without doing something."


"Why shouldn't you die Opal? Why do you deserve to live?"

The whole room was freezing, and I was coughing more than ever. All of the walls were suddenly screaming things at me. The room was spinning.

"Why do you keep trying when all you do is cause burdens for others? Why can't you just be grateful you had your chance at life and this is how it's going to end?"

"Shut up!" I screamed, I grabbed the shovel from where I'd set it next to me and raised it.

"Look at you Opal. Can't you even answer a simple question?"

Then I smashed a hole in that wall...

...And suddenly a pair of arms grabbed me.

I was back in reality. People were screaming, and a man was on the phone calling the police. There was still a hole in the wall.

I hit someone in the chest with the shovel and knocked him over, and I ran. I kept running until I managed to duck into an alley.

And that wasn't even the low point of my day...

When Spencer found me, he was covered in blood, and angry for reasons I don't blame him for. He was sick, and he kept vomiting black stuff.

He killed a proxy while coming to get me. Because of me that person is dead.

Spencer didn't leave a lot to look at, but I could tell whoever it was hadn't been much older than me.

What gives me the right to live while that person dies?

I'm at the House, the place the couriers live. If you don't know what that is go read the blog, I keep posting links to it.

When I got in August was very happy to see me, which felt terrible considering all of the trouble I was causing. He gave me the big grand tour and made dinner and all I could do was follow along and wish I could fall asleep.

Long story short, I wound up puking all of that great dinner up and wandering around until I just passed out on the floor.

Spencer had to fix that too.

Nemo's here but he's avoiding me like the plague, (unless you count him talking me into stealing the kitchen from August so he could get his pancakes, which by the way I apologize for)

So why am I here?

I thought I knew. But now I realize it's for a completely different reason.

I'm here because I want to change my own fate...and I'm endangering everyone because of it.


I don't think I'm going to stay long.

The walls keep whispering to me, and they keep saying the same thing.

...I'm starting to wish I 'could' die.

But of course some things are certain.