I'm getting sick again. Like Pneumonia sick again. I haven't eaten in a couple of days, and it's all my own idiot fault.
I shouldn't have read a proxy blog, I shouldn't have, but she was following my blog and I was curious. I read through it the other day, and even had a little argument with her over the Enuma Elish, or whatever it was called. It was some myth I'd already read back in Freshman year, and she was like, "God is evil, and we're awesome," and I was like "that's crap, you're crazy," and she was like, "you're mean," and I was like, "I know." Petty argument, went on forever, won't bore you with the details.
But I read through her blog, and most of it was just weird stuff about her and her, "siblings," I guess, (although I don't think siblings generally attack each other with battery acid,) and how they'd be psycho's and she wouldn't notice since it was for the greater good or something. And then I read one of her later posts. A post about some torture she participated in involving some twins. I'll post a
link but viewer discretion is advised.
God I can't believe this happened! I don't want to believe this happened. But it did! I read the post and threw up half way through. I haven't even been able to think about eating, because this is all I can picture. It also opened my tender mind up to a brand new nightmare. Looks like getting strangled in a forest just wasn't terrifying enough, so last night I dreamt I was locked in a cage with a monster. It's gory, disgusting, and generally unpleasant so let's not talk about that.
It makes me furious, but it terrifies me, because I know that no rational word that comes out of my mouth will change anything. Yet I keep on arguing anyway. I guess that makes me persistent, or maybe stupid. I've been called both.
If the twin, Melissa, ever reads this blog, Proxy or not, I have never felt more sympathy and remorse for any other person on earth. All I can tell you is how sorry I am...
Crap I'm getting sick again, let's talk about something else shall we?
Aggy's been in and out. She'll wake up for a little while and we'll give her some water, and then she'll fall back asleep. Anne and I have been taking shifts, one of us will drive while the other stays in back and watches her.
And Nemo's back in the world of the living for however long, which fills me with much joy. I'm happy you are (arguably) sane again, because I enjoy the company as well. A lot more than proxy company anyway...
We made it to Arizona no sweat, and yesterday we drove to the grand canyon. It's one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. To think something could be that big. I took a picture, like the little tourist I am.
I wonder if Slendy would survive a fall from there? Probably.
I think I'm a fan of running. It's not so bad. Granted I have a car which is always nice, but I think I'm happier running than if I'd wallowed in the remains of that burned apartment. And even if it wasn't burned, I like this.
I've seen more world than I have in my entire life. If this is how the last days of my life get spent, well it could be worse.
...But if I end up in a cage surrounded by proxies I'm biting my own tongue off. Those are memories I don't want.
I'm not thinking about that, I'm not thinking about that...
Anne told me a story today. It was about when she was little and she came up here with her family. She said her dad and her wrote their names on a leaf and tossed it over the edge. Her mom had been mad at them since you aren't supposed to throw anything over, but she and her dad both agreed it had been worth it.
After the day we got attacked the first thing Anne did was start worrying about her family. She called them and said that she was running off to Mexico because the mob was after her. She said something about the police being involved, and that the whole family should relocate to somewhere safe. I heard about this right after it happened, so I can really only imagine how that conversation went.
If they change their identities, she'll never find them again. But He won't know where to find them either, so long as she doesn't know.
I've heard her crying really late sometimes. I don't think she's a fan of the running.
I wish there was something I could've done before all this started. She didn't deserve to get involved.
We can't do anything about it now though, her families going to be safe, so that's all that matters. It's better than having them end up dead or proxies or in the same situation we're in now.
The two of us sent our own little leaf floating down the canyon. This is it right here.
It's sort of hard to see this one. That's Anne holding it though. It was mostly her idea.
We gotta keep trucking, if we let this all catch up to us it'll only get worse. Right now we have to concentrate on getting Aggy better, and keeping safe.
For the rest of our lives...
- Opal